Cover art for Day 1: A Cup of My Fluids by Veggie Crumble

Day 1: A Cup of My Fluids

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Day 1: A Cup of My Fluids Lyrics

I wake up at 4 to Mukunda’s gong. It’s fucking freezing. I amble over to the meditation hall and meditate from 4:30 to 6:30 with a few breaks. At breakfast, I see Frank and ask him if I can get a water bottle, and he hooks me up.

During the first group sit, we get some further audio instruction about how to focus on our breath. You don’t want to consciously direct your breath, just follow “bare, natural breath, as it is.” Okay.

In any hour of meditation, there are inevitably stretches of lush present-absorption, but mainly it’s just a bunch of scattered, random thoughts.

After the meditation is over, I pee, wash my hands, then come back for more. Four hours of meditation, and it‘s only 11AM on the first day.

I sign up for a post lunch interview with Bob Cannon as per his instructions during our phone call. He sits on a raised platform in the front of the empty meditation hall, and after waiting in the foyer and getting the go ahead hand signal from Frank, I enter and sit at his feet. He asks about my depression, I tell him I’m fine. He checks his notes and says “I believe you have some experience with hypnosis. Make sure you leave that stuff out and stick with the technique. I’m glad you’re doing well. Why don’t you come back for another interview tomorrow.”

By afternoon I’m bored as shit. During a brief period of absorption, I get greedy for profound experience and imagine a conversation with God:

Me: What’s up God?

God: I think you’re here early

Me: Yeah this feels forced

God: Yep

(God doesn’t say bye or anything, he just goes back to what he was doing and expects me to leave...rude)

In the evening, instead of dinner, first time students get tea, an apple and a banana, while old students get no food, just hot water with lemon. Everyone else looks chilled out and enlightened. I assume they’re all insane or simple, or I’m insane, and I can think of nothing but ayples and banaynays.

After the evening meditation, we’re treated to the first Goenka video lecture. The message: if you want to cross a bridge because you are curious what’s on the other side, you must get up and walk - the other side of the bridge will not come to you, and no one is going to carry you. You must work for your own salvation.
I go to bed, take my dream enhancing vitamins, and pass out. I dream that Shinzen Young diagnoses me as having too much “granula” in my heart, and that the only remedy is 8 days of fasting. I say “I can’t fast for 8 days, and I’m skeptical you can make a diagnosis without a CT scan”. He says all he needs to make the diagnosis is a cup of my fluids (which he shows me, and I see that it is indeed filled with lots of granula). I say “Hey, I never gave you my fluids!”

(90 pushups)

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