And I know I'm not perfect baby
I been through so much trauma, it gonna be hard to reverse it

from Jay Z – Jay Z Blue Lyrics on Rap Genius

Meaning

Jay’s past is well documented throughout his catalog Jay-Z.

You didn’t know? Where the fuck have you been?

Whether it is emotional trauma, mental trauma or both, he still hasn’t been able to rid himself of all those terrible experiences and as a result he makes his mistakes as a husband and now dreads doing the same as a father.

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