Fighting Trousers Lyrics

[Intro] (Spoken)
Ah, Jeffrey, what's that you have in your hand boy? Pass it over. A telegram? Oh dear. Seems someone has been biting me. Fetch me my trousers at once! No, not those, those are my time-travel trousers! Those are my tea trousers? Got it, those ones, My fighting trousers!

[Verse 1]
Dear Sir, regarding your recent foray
Into the rap business and the scene you portray
See I don't normally approve of war games
But "He's biting you" is what they all say

And by Harry, they might be right--
This is hip hop, not an Elvis night!
Shelve this Professor impersonation

Let it end now, it's impertinent waiting!
You seem a reasonable chap, what you need to do is rap
But not parody chap hop

Cause that's not proper, just not cricket!
Put away your ukulele or I'll tell where to stick it!

[Chorus]
I - Don't like your tweed, sir!
Will - Teach you the professor's ready!
Not - Let's see who strikes the loudest!
Lose
- Put on my fighting trousers!

[Verse 2]
I've got super producers and fans that play me
You've got a granddad's mustache and a ukulele

Don't look around sir, I'm speaking to you
Roll up your shirt sleeves, Queensbury rules
Never test professors with the cleverest wits
Let's settle this like gentlemen: armed with heavy sticks
On a rotating plate, with spikes like Flash Gordon
And you're Peter Duncan
; I gave you fair warning
When this George Formby clone is performing
Audiences go home before he begins talking
A new career might be more rewarding
I'm a bright Brighton peer, you're rap's Piers Morgan
[Outro] (Spoken)
Dahh, sorry, I'm sorry Geoffrey but it-it gets my goat, gets my dander right up! Bloody told him. No, no jazz solo, this is supposed to be a diss song! Geoffrey, get off the drums!

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About

Genius Annotation

Professor Elemental, a fixture of Britan’s “chap-hop” subculture (yes, that’s a real thing-beats, rhymes, and moustaches) delivers a scathing diss to Mr. B, the gentleman rhymer, a similar emcee involved in steampunk hip-hop (yes, this is also a real thing)

I’ve never heard anything by Mr. B, or any other steampunk rapper, but I think it’s safe to say that this song most likely heems on whatever similar effort Mr. B may put out. Bravo to you, Mr. Elemental.

Q&A

Find answers to frequently asked questions about the song and explore its deeper meaning

Well, it's confusing to me, why did he intend to diss Mr. B in the first place?
Genius Answer

A “diss track” is a classic rap technique that goes way back to the early days of hip-hop. Rappers would “battle” each other by dissing each other in a rhyming contest. In Caribbean circles, rappers would “murder” each other in rap battles.

Like nerdcore, chap-hop harkens back to stylistic hip-hop roots, and in this case, Prof. E. has chosen to bring back the diss track.

What did Professor Elemental say about "Fighting Trousers"?
Genius Answer

Mr. B. isn’t really steampunk rap, but chap-hop. Prof. E. drifts between the two. Mr. B. is probably best known for the (now hard to find) “Straight Out Of Surrey,” an upper-crust vocal remix of N.W.A’s Straight Outta Compton.

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