Diary of a Madman Lyrics

[Intro]
Yo anybody seen my diary? Oh there it is
I gotta write this shit down. Check it out


[Verse 1]
Dear Diary, I'm having a little problem
I can't make it by myself maybe you can help me solve em
I'm confused and I don't know what to do
I'm hoping you can help me cause there's no one else to talk to
I want to die, but it ain't for me
I try to talk to my dad, but my old man ignores me
He says I'm delirious
And I drink too much, so he doesn't take me serious
But little does he know I'm really losing it
I got a head, but ain't no screws in it
I be thinking deep
That's one of the reasons at night I can't sleep
I thought it would change when I was older
But even now I'm still peeping over my shoulder
Is there life after death too?
And what about the nigga with the cane and the black suit?
And what about cancer?
Too many motherfucking questions, and not enough answers
Ain't no use in trying
We might as well face it we were all born dying
There's a black book in Brad's hands
And its the diary of a madman
[Verse 2]
Dear diary today I hit a nigga with the torch
Shot him in his face and watched him die on his front porch
Left his family heartbroken
Flashbacks of him laying there bleeding with his eyes open
I can't put the shit behind me
I'm know I'm here somewhere, but I can't find me
I used to be a drug dealer
On the fo rilla, but now I'm a born killer
And it ain't no changing me
It used to be hard, but now it ain't no thing to me

To go up to a nigga's house
Put a pistol in his mouth, and blow his fucking brains out
No doubt if you cross then I'ma take ya
Cause I'm a fucking killer by nature
You got an M11, bring your weapon
Huh, I got an AK-47
It's gonna be a bloody Sunday
Cause your fucking with a nigga like Bundy

And I was taught not to care
Like a Vietnam vet with a thousand-yard stare

So welcome to the slaughterhouse nigga
Redrum and I'ma be the grave digger
And if you want to cap, come cap me
I'm trigger happy like my great-grandpappy
Just watch for the chrome in my right hand
My second entry from the diary of a madman
[Verse 3]
Dear diary, help me 'cause I'm frantic
Sometimes I think I'm going schizophrenic

The world's looking dark for instance
Maybe 'cause I'm looking from a distance
But then again I wear a blindfold
Staring at the motherfuckin world with my eyes closed
To myself, I'm a stranger
Walking in the footsteps of danger
It's a long path ahead of me
I gotta get somewhere 'cause everybody here is scared of me
I had a job but they fired me
My wife walked off, now I'm living in my diary

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About

Genius Annotation

In an interview with Complex Magazine, Scarface contextualizes “Diary of a Madman”:

Now that’s a good record. When I was about 20 years old, I had a fight with my girlfriend and I was really hurt about what had transpired. I did some things that hurt her that I shouldn’t have done and it never happened again in life but I felt so bad about it until I just went off in that fucking shell and hid. And that’s where that song came from. That was one of the deepest songs that I’ve ever written. It’s a guy that’s caught up with nothing to say to nobody but this book that he is confiding in.

I tried to kill myself so many times in life that I say it on that record. ‘I want to die but it ain’t for me/I tried to talk to my dad but my old man ignores me/He says I’m delirious/Plus I drink so he won’t take me serious/But little does he know I’m really losing it/I got a head with ain’t no screws in it.’ You know I got some bad motherfuckers man! That’s what I was going through at that time.

I tried [to commit suicide] at least four times. I got close enough where they wanted to put me in a hospital. The first time I tried I was about 13 or 14. I never understood the beauty of life until now. I never understood the beauty of life until I’d seen life take shape. Life takes shape and it’s mind blowing.

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