Nevermind shootin’: they ain’t show me where the gym was
That’s why I do a lot on spite
So if you, look up to me you got ‘em at the wrong height
I mean, I’m not a role model, I’m a piece of shit
Like Charles Barkley, Joe is not a role model. Following up on the Basketball theme, Budden doesn’t want you to look up to him because he’s a bad example. He responds based on his instincts, doing “a lot on spite,” meaning that a lot of his actions and words are a direct result of hatred; he does a lot on spite because he’s bitter that no one was there to guide him (perhaps in his early years.) Despite this hatred, he won’t shoot at you, because no one showed him where the (metaphorical) gym was (a play on shooting basketballs versus guns, and also potential reference to Drake’s diss verse towards Common on Stay Schemin', in which Drake references Kobe Bryant’s wife’s settlement of $150 Million following their divorce.) Lots of rappers come from hardships growing up (where shooting may be deemed a solution to a dispute) and make bad decisions, which would make them bad role models. Budden is using himself as a paradigm, thus explaining that rappers should not be viewed as such.
Joe might also be saying that no one gave him any opportunity to come up, in other words they didn’t even show him the metaphorical gym, let alone let him “shoot” with them (a reference to the Drake line.) Lots of people have been sleeping on Joe (unaware of his talent) and many of those same people probably never game him a chance. Thus, he sometimes acts out of hatred, feeling like he has nothing to prove and he deserves greater recognition. Since he acts this way, he doesn’t want to be looked up to cause he knows many of his actions are wrong.
Budden may also be saying that he wouldn’t allow a woman get close enough to take what he has earned, as Vanessa Bryant did with Kobe.
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