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from Nas (Ft. Mazy) – The Don Lyrics on Rap Genius

Meaning

This line talks about Nas trying to find himself when he was committing the aforementioned crimes. To find oneself is a common wish, especially among hurt or religious people, and Nas makes a commentary on that in this line.
He says that he’s not able to find himself, most likely because he has lost a part of himself with his upbringing.

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