I repeat, you can't sit on my lap
I don't have a beard now get off my
Beard — Any opposite sex escort taken to an event in an effort to give a homosexaul person the apperance of being out on a date with a person of the opposite sex.
Meaning Jay doesn’t keep Beyonce around just for show. He’s not gay. So get off his nuts. The double meaning is hopefully obvious now.
Or he’s talking about how people want him to hand them stuff on a silver platter. He is using Santa as an example because Santa gives things, presents and usually when you sit on his lap you ask him for what you want.
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