We end our day up on the roof
I say I’ll jump, I never do
But when I’m drunk I act a fool
It could also be his sense of nihilism that comes with being a teenager with all the connections and riches in the world and no one to guide him— no one truly cares about him at all. Not his friends (who really only stay for the drugs, the joyrides, the sex and the rich kid scene), not the maids that walk by, not the parents that aren’t there. He doesn’t care much about the material items he has, nor the ‘relationships’ or lack thereof he develops with other people. There’s no real meaning or goals in his life, and there’s no real love.
He’s drunk, so at this point in the day, each day, he’s only be half-contemplating what jumping and killing himself would do, passing it off as a joke to his friends. Mainly the most beneficial consequence of killing himself would be breaking this never-ending cycle of fucking up things just to feel something, of starting and endings on rooftops and every bullshit, meaningless thing that happens in between those two parts of the day.
It’s a sense of feeling invisible. You’re going to try things you normally wouldn’t do when you’re drunk because you feel like you can do anything. You’ll say things when you’re impaired that may not be exactly true, just as jumping.
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