[A.L.T.]
Ah yeah
Yo, Jime, you ready to do this

(Verse 1)
I was at the bar with my drinking team
And it was me, Jack Daniels, and my homie Jim Beam
We were kinda blizted and we were tryin to behave, yo
When in walked a soldier, he was from the Fuzzy Navel
We were fallin', stumblin', crawlin'
In came the police, Captain Tom Collins
And the vato said, "Freeze!" (Freeze!)
He said, "Hands in the air and hand over your keys"
Now we did
And that was kinda simple
Now, here came Margarita and her friend Shirley Temple
I asked my friend 'bout Margarita
He said that Shirley was a virgin and I wouldn't wanna meet her
So I talked to Margarita, cause, yo, she was flyer
I took her to the couch cause I wanted to screw-drive her
Now I'm not one for a speech
But there was plenty of Tequila and sex on the beach, y'all
Tequila

{*Tequila theme playing*}

[A.L.T.] T-T-T-Tequila
Yeah
Alright
Come on
[All] TEQUILA!

(Verse 2)
Here we go again and I'm not fussin'
See, I'm a French Mexican but I kick it with white Russians
At the bar with the drink in my hand
In walked Jose Cuevo, he was Margarita's man
I talked to the Wise Man, cause yo, he's distinguished
His name is St. Ides and he spoke in Olde English
He said, "You better think fast
Cause Jose, is kind of crazy and I heard he shot glass"
He gave me some advice and it went like this, yo
"Catch the Nighttrain and head up to 'Cisco"
I didn't wanna stick around
I caught the 151 to New York, the Greyhound
Now I'm at the Red Zone, everybody stylin'
Showbiz was sippin' Ice Teas on Long Island
I blacked out, the party came to a halt
Cause I was drinkin' the Tequila with the lemon and salt, y'all
Tequila

{*Tequila theme playing*}

[A.L.T.] T-T-T-Tequila
Yeah
Alright
[All] TEQUILA!

(Verse 3)
I woke up in the morning and felt like a zombie
The Tequila Gold Label had bombed me
You see
I woke up late
I wasn't feelin' so great
And Mike said, "There's a Bacardi party starting at eight"
Yo, we walked in the party and started playing our games
We played tops, buds and quarters
With Bartles & Jaymes
Here came Shirley Temple and they told me to chill
Because the Mickey Brothers took her up to Strawberry Hill
They took her thousand dollar mink and she could barely think
Cause the Tequila that she drank had her tickled pink
Now, the music came on and I rocked the instrumental
There's a groupie named Mai Tai, a fly oriental
A groupie is a girl that jocks
She wore a def Black Velvet, and drank Scotch on the rocks
We had a Fake Marriage, now here's the Honeymoon
Yo, it's on, Vagabond
At the Blue Lagoon
Now everybody take a couple of words from the wise
A girlie and a bottle
Tequila Sunrise
Tequila

[ *horn section plays the 'Tequila' theme* ]

{*Tequila theme playing*}

[A.L.T.] Yeah
Alright
Come on
[All] TEQUILA!

{*Tequila theme playing*}
{*people chattering and screaming "TEQUILA!"*}