Cover art for Why Zlatan deserves the Ballon d’Or by Gone_f4i_868a

Why Zlatan deserves the Ballon d’Or

Why Zlatan deserves the Ballon d’Or Lyrics

Zlatanera - ”klara något med kraft” eller att ”dominera"








The unsubtle steal of the classic Roadrunner definitions is apt, as both Wiley E. and Big Z seems to defy physics at least once a week. Be it blastoffs or backheels, they are never far from jaw dropping moments. Take the goal against Anderlecht for example. This was pure cartoon physics, straight from the Jack Kirby school of motion. If the ball had turned into a kamehameha wave, no one would have been surprised.

I feel that Zlatan deserves more adoration than he currently gets. He is the epitome of a modern footballer, the soap opera mixed with the ability and the failures interconnecting stellar highlights. I feel he is the most natural talent on the modern football field, a freak that is the antithesis of the mechanical Ronaldos and one paced Messis, both of whom have played with a caliber of player that allows them to flourish. Zlatan has played for some great teams but also some average ones and his talents still shines through.

How does this link to this article?

Recently a glamour model started the campaign to get Zlatan his Balon D'or. We whole heartedly support this idea and will work tireless hours at Maboo's factory of lyrics to get it done. We are gathering support for the big man through contacts, tweets and tenuous pyongs. She is doing the same by *cough*, 'getting them out.' We will see who has the most impact.

To the football community, Zlatan represents everything about the modern footballer. He has the ego, the arrogance and the temper but everything is twisted up with a harrowing back story, amazing skill, great personality and a relentless will to win. He is the unorthodox master, the rebel, the John Bender of the football pitch. We here at Sports Genius feel his skills need recognizing, even if this article gets no where fast. Writing this is is a very Zlatan thing to do; it's probably stupid but it might just come off.

The Skills

"First I went left, he did too. Then I went right, and he did too. Then I went left again and he went to buy a hot dog."

In terms of raw technical ability, I'm going to put my neck out and say Zlatan has the best technique in the modern game. He has all the tricks, the robonas, the flip flaps and stuff they don't have a name for.

Now, we have all seen these skills before, by professionals and amateurs. How is this any different to those cases?

Simple,
ZLATAN IS SIX FOOT FIVE

The best dribblers are normally small. Aside from Ronaldo (push and run does not count - hence no Bale) all the best dribblers were small.

Best - 5 foot 9,Messi - 5 foot 7,Maradona, Cruyff, The Real Ronaldo, Pele, Johnstone are around or under six foot. Physically, Zlatan should be miles behind these guys, he is simply toot all and too heavy. His long legs should mean he cannot lower his body to twist and turn as effectively.

Well, nobody told him.

The dude has regular Shakira snake hips, and that is no lie. But the beauty conceals the beast with Zlatan and this is another reason why he is on our list.

The anger

"I don’t get into punch-ups, though. All right, on the pitch I guess I’ve headbutted a few people. When I get angry, the red mist descends. You don’t want to be nearby."

Zlatan enjoys fighting, hence why he is a taekwondo master. This is the ying to his skillful yang, the anger that propels him to the extremes of skill but always shadows his preformance. Playing with Zlatan is like, playing with fire. Always bright, often dangerous.

The balls of steel

So fierce, talented and skillful. But you need something extra to take you to the top. The ability to believe yourself when no one else does, to juggernaught your way through any obstacle and overcome. Even if Zlatan had no feet, he could still make it as a footballer. Don't get me wrong,this is not a version of what is now know as a 'Nicklausism.' This is a simple, 'I am good, respect it.'


Zlatan's mentality can be summed up in one quote
"Zlatan doesn't do auditions."

So FIFA voters, when you decide who will be the 2013 player of the year, please consider Zlatan. Because fuck it, we all like him and we got money and are don't care who we need to bribe.Oh and Roy Hodgson, the deal is on the table for a new centre forward for 2014.

How to Format Lyrics:

  • Type out all lyrics, even repeating song parts like the chorus
  • Lyrics should be broken down into individual lines
  • Use section headers above different song parts like [Verse], [Chorus], etc.
  • Use italics (<i>lyric</i>) and bold (<b>lyric</b>) to distinguish between different vocalists in the same song part
  • If you don’t understand a lyric, use [?]

To learn more, check out our transcription guide or visit our transcribers forum

About

Genius Annotation

ZLATAN NEEDS MORE TROPHIES!

Q&A

Find answers to frequently asked questions about the song and explore its deeper meaning

Comments