Verse 1 [Briggs]
(I wish I was)
That guy you could take to meet ya parents
Appearance let alone would have me barred in a minute
Politickin wit ya pops have a talk over dinner?
Nah, drunk in the car and i wait till ya finish
Dont leave me out there too long gettin bored
Sittin in the drive way beepin the car horn
Your mothers in tears, i think ive upset her
And ya sister in your ear sayin you can do better
Then we off, drive on to the drive thru
6 pack, jacks, gin, oh baby i love you
Meatloaf lover, there ain't nothin i won't do
Except that, scrap that, nah fuck that too
Far from thoughtful, as deep as a creek
Find me in the street, 10 deep with the creeps
Sneak in while you sleep, slide up in your sheets
Arrested in second coz you moved last week

(I WISH I WERE)
THAT STAND UP CITIZEN
ROLE MODEL FOR CHILDREN
POSTER BOY FOR THE INNOCENT
BUT I'm LIKE

Got them, beer goggles roy orbison
On the bar like an ornament, next round, order em
Bar staff avoidin him last round i slaughtered em
And im sittin on the stool like busted accordion

Talk to this broad like im charming as fuck
But whats coming out is whats comin' up
I thought i was in the zone, but i was in a state
And does the drink still count if it just went in my face?
Move on, to the next possibilities
Walk across the room to the best of my abilities
Literally run into this thing from the Philippines
19, fillin up a B cup, she feelin me
She grabbin my hand tries to walk to the dance floor
Im like nah girl, what the fuck ya wanna dance for?
Fred astaire im not, you got ya wires crossed
Ill be at the bar when ya ready with a couple of shots

CHORUS

I WISH I WERE THAT GUY
WERE THAT TYPE
WERE THAT NICE

Verse 2 [Briggs]
BUT I WISH YOU WOULDN'T WHINE
ALL THE TIME, THEN WE'D BE FINE

No License, but drunk enough to drive
50cent style, shots, yep i took nine
Something seems to be wrong with my spine
Because im crawlin, but im certain i can walk a straight line, if tried
So i stood up, yep flat on my back
Wanna walk the line but im no johnny cash
And if somebody asks you dont know where i am
Coz I left the bar man with a 500 tab
So long, catch me if you can
Maybe next week when i forget and comeback
But i left the scene, i jumped in a cab
When this joint stops im the ginger bread man
Usain bolt when the cab pull up
Wheels spin and the car backin up
Im good for 10 meters, no stamina
Damn the poor lungs can't stand the gut