[Intro - Eminem]
Guess who? Do you miss me?
Jessica Simpson: sing the chorus
[Hook - Charmagne Tripp]
When you walked through the door
It was clear to me
You're the one they adore
Who they came to see
You're a... rock star
Everybody wants you, player
Who can really blame you?
We're the ones who made you
Ahem, back by popular demand
Now pop a little Zantac for antacid if you can
You're ready to tackle any task that is at hand
How does it feel? Is it fantastic? Is it grand?
Well, look at all the massive masses in the stands
"Shady man, no, don't massacre the fans!"
Damn, I think Kim Kardashian's a man
She stomped him just cause he asked to put his hands
On her massive gluteus maximus again
Squeeze it and squish it and pass it to a friend
Can he come back as nasty as he can?
Yes he can-can: don't ask me this again
He does not mean to lesbians offend
But Lindsay: please come back to seeing men
Samantha's a 2; you're practically a 10
I know you want me, girl; in fact, I see you grin
Now come in, girl
The enforcer, looking for more women to torture
Walk up to the cutest girl and Charlie-horse her
Sorry Portia, but what's Ellen DeGeneres
Have that I don't? Are you telling me tenderness?
Well, I can be as gentle and as smooth as a gentleman
Give me my Ventolin inhaler, and 2 Xenadrine
And I'll invite Sarah Palin out to dinner then
Nail her, baby: "say hello to my little friend"
Brit: forget K-Fed, let's cut off the middleman
Forget him or you're gonna end up in the hospital again
And this time it won't be for the Ritalin binge
Forget them other men, girl, pay them little attention
And little did I mention that Jennifer's in
Love with me, John Mayer, so sit on the bench
Man, I swear them other guys, you give em an inch
They take a mile, they got style, but it isn't Slims
[Eminem - singing]
And that's why, my love, you'll never live without
I know you want me girl cause I can see you're checking me out
And baby, you know, you know you want me too
Don't try to deny it baby, I'm the only one for you (*fart*)
Damn girl, I'm beginning to sprout an Alfalfa
Why should I wash my filthy mouth out?
You think that's bad you should hear the rest of my album
Never has there been such finesse and nostalgia
Man Cash, I don't mean to mess with your gal but
Jessica Alba put her breasts on my mouth (blup!)
Wowzers! I just made a mess in my trousers
And they wonder why I keep dressing like Elvis
"Lord help us, he's back in his pink Alf shirt
Looking like someone shrinked his outfit!"
I think he's 'bout to flip, Jessica
Rest assured Superman's here to rescue ya
Can you blame me? You're my Amy, I'm your Blake
Matter fact, bake me a birthday cake
With a saw blade in it to make my jailbreak
Baby, I think you just met your soulmate
Now break it down, girl
Amy! Rehab never looked so good!
I can't wait, I'm going back
Ha ha, woo! Dr. Dre! 2020!
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