[Intro: Shaggy 2 Dope]
Jingle my mutha fucken balls bitch
Insane Clown Posse back in this mutha fucka
Hey yo Violent J, whats up?!

[Verse 1: Violent J, Shaggy 2 Dope]
It's Christmas, time for a slaughter
Maybe your wife, maybe your daughter
It's midnight, I land my sleigh
Make way for jolly Saint J
Climb down the chimney, for the murder
Dressed as the fat man everyone's heard of
Shimmy down, shimmy down, what the fuck?
Somebody help me, I'm stuck
Now what to do? I feel wack
I got stuck in a chimney stack
But I hack, and shimmer on down
Santa Claus Clown can't fuck around, now
Living room, shhh, I creep
Tippy toes 'cause they asleep
I pulled out the axe and slid down the hall
I got a gift for all of ya'll
Whats that? I better hide quick
Oh fuck, it's the real St. Nick
And he musta been takin' a shit
But regardless, I better move quick, now
So I jumped him, Santa's no joke
Fucked around got my damn neck broke
He's strapped, he shot, he didn't miss
*Gunshots* Ho! Ho! Ho! I had a red Christmas

[Chorus: Shaggy 2 Dope]
I'm dreaming of a dead Christmas
The kind you'll never have again
'Cause if you have a dead Christmas
That means your dead and thats the end

[Post-Chorus: Violent J]
"Merry, merry Christmas you fuckin' chump! Seasons greetings, loser! Yo, 2 Dope, kick it!"

[Verse 2: Shaggy 2 Dope, Violent J]
Jack Frost nibbles, ha! but fuck that
I ain't got a home so he nibbles on my nutsack
And my buttcrack, toes, and elbows
My nose is froze, fuck you hoes
So I made a friend like me, a snow man
He was down with the clown like a bro, man
Had a hat and eyes outta charcoal
And a pipe, we filled it with Endo
Me and him sang songs in the snowflakes
He ate snowballs, I ate cornflakes
And we both would freeze our balls off
I was there every time his head falls off
I put it back on for him with a smile
He was my boy, made him from a snow pile
Then the storm came, huh, a blizzard
Snow, wind, ice, a blizzard
We pulled through we hid in an alley
The next day it was like sunny valley
He was meltin' and I was just fine
He got pissed and pulled out a nine
"If I'ma die you should come with me
'Cause we're boys" *Gunshot* It hit me
Damn, I'm dying, I'm dead he got his wish
And alls I got is another Red Christmas

[Chorus: Shaggy 2 Dope]
Silent night, violent fight
Now I'm dead, one to the head
Christmas this year seemed so wack

[Post-Chorus: Shaggy 2 Dope]
"Happy New Year, bitch boy! Hey, I got a New Years resolution for your chicken face mother to kiss my motherfuckin' ass, Woo!"

[Chorus: Insane Clown Posse]
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, jingle all the way
Ask your fuckin' mama, bitch, the ICP don't play
Wicked clown, wicked clown, bitches, drop your drawers
Don't talk back, just suck my sack and fiddle with my balls

[Post-Chorus: Violent J]
"Yeah, ICP, Southwest for life. Christmas time you know what I'm sayin'? Mr. Kris Kringle, you fat bitch, motherfucker never gave me shit. I'm a slap you across your red-ass face motherfucker, uh! Southwest down"

[Skit]
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Twelve dead chicken boys
Eleven stanky bitches
Ten bigots dying
Nine mothers bitching
Eight crackhead babies
Seven red neck hoes
Six rotting bodies
Five cases of Faygo (Hey)
Four neden holes
Three fat stanks
Two splattered doves
And one dead Governor E