Excuse me, girl
I know it's a bit embarrassing
But I just noticed some tan lines
On your shirt!
See I reckon you're about an 8 or a 9
Maybe even 9 and a half in four beers time
That blue Top Shop top you've got on IS nice
Bit too much fake tan, though -- but yeah, you score high
But there's just one little thing that's really really
Really, REALLY annoying me about you, you see
Yeah, yeah, like I said. you are really fit
But my gosh -- don't you just know it!
I'm not trying to pull you
Even though I would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit but my gosh don't you know it
So when I looked at you standing there with your horde
I was waiting in the queue looking at the board
Wondering whether to have a burger or chips
Or what the shrapnel in my back pocket could afford
When I noticed out the corner of my eye
Looking toward my direction
Your eyes locked onto my course
I couldn't concentrate on what I wanted to order
Which cost me my place in the queue I waited for YEAH
Whoa! Leave it out!
Are you smoking something?
Leave it out!
"Mike, just leave it, just leave it!"
"We cannot have that behaviour in this establishment"
"S'not worth it, Mike, just leave it!"
"Don't touch me, s'not worth it!"
"Don't touch me, D! Look -- I'm all right. Don't touch me!"
For a while there I was thinking - yeah, but, what if?
Picturin' myself pullin' with bare white hot wit
Snarin' you as you were standing there opposite
Whether or not you knew it I swear you didn't tick
And when that bloke in the white behind us lot queuing
Was clockin' onto you too yeah I had to admit
That yeah, yeah, you are fit
And yeah I do want it
But I stop sharkin' for a minute to get chips and drinks
Oi, just as you started to make your big advance
With the milkshake and that little doughnut in hand
I was like, nah, I can't, even though you look grand
But you look sharp there smilin hard suggesting and
Gleaming away with your hearty hearty lookin tan
But I admit the next bit was spanner to my plan
You walked towards my path but just brushed right past
And into the arms of that white shirted man
Oh what do I give a fuck I've got a girlfriend anyway
("Whoa, we've all had a drink, mate...")
We're all a bit drunk, yeah we've had a few, fair play
I got this Stella I bombed from that last cafe
This night's not even begun, yes, yes, oh yay
I did fancy you a bit, though, yeah I must say
I would rather I hadn't mugged myself on display
But this is just another case of female stopping play
On otherwise a total result of a holiday
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