(Verse 1)
Do you remember when we first met?
Ohio
I guess I was depressed you weren't there
For my show
I saw you sitting at the hotel
Cherry lips upon your person
Betting that you kiss like a virgin and thought
Man, if only I was John Mayer
I'd have a ticket to your wonderland
And fingers in your blonde hair
I'm not a southern man
But the way you're writing like you're still in high school
Makes me feel young again
And then it hit me in a moment of clarity
Maybe we could get together in the spirit of charity
Cause I'm really happy for you
And imma let you finish
But my name is witness and i think that if you marry me then

(Chorus)
We won't ever, ever, ever
Have to hear another break up song (x3)
(So I'm standing in Target
And I'm thinking like
"I never want to hear this fucking song ever again, like ever")

(Verse 2)
Tennessee Girl
I guess I'll have the rep the south
When I'm pounding on that sugar mountain like I'm Wreck-It-Ralph
And if you got a leather skirt you're gonna have to share
Cause nowadays that's what all the famous rappers wear
And when we go to the Grammys I'd let you wear it out
And I would even do some cleaning if we had to share a house
Judging by them hip bones? I would let you bear my child
Girl, I grew a beard because I heard you're digging Harry Styles
And then it hit me in a moment of clarity
Maybe we could get together in the spirit of charity
Cause I'm really happy for you
And imma let you finish
But my name is witness and i think that if you marry me then


(Chorus)
We won't ever, ever, ever
Have to hear another break up song (x3)
(So then I'm at the dentist
And they play this twice in a row
And I'm just like "Dude, just stop, please.")