The hopelessness that I feel when people tell me stuff like “That was whack” or “Use more multis” is mind blowing, but it gives other people strength. That isn’t the case for me, it makes me feel like crap. But this is me telling myself not to elope, meaning to just leave. I’m focused on this next album, EXTREMELY FOCUSED. I’m not open to your negative criticism, because it’s a threat to my confidence, and now I’m glad because it’ll give me a chance to see if I can out do my last mix tape which no believes I can.

DOUBLE MEANING:

“To the future I go, to murk my past.”

1. In the near future, my next mix tape is due to be released. I’ve put so much effort into this mix tape that I believe it will murder every one of my past mix tapes.

2. The future I’m speaking of here is the changes that I’m going through at the moment. I’m hoping it’ll finally help me kill what has happened to me in the past.

These lines focused on a certain aspect in my life: Depression. But there’s change drawing near with this new album that I have coming. I just wonder if it’s even worth putting out if no one bothers to listen though. This is everything I’ve been through spilling out on this song, and there’s at least one person that’ll be like, “Ehh, that was whack”. That one comment always ends up outweighing the positivity for some reason. That’s when I begin to wonder, will it take me to stop caring to get rid of my demons that haunt me for never being good enough for people that claim to listen to “Real Hip-Hop”?

My standards for a lot of things are pretty low, but I feel as if I set the bar high for myself with this song, especially with me working on my next project. There aren’t many people that’ll go this far to vent his feelings. But for what? For people to criticize it?

Another thing that annoys me, is when people think multi-syllable rhyme schemes make up a song. I would rather listen to a song like The Vent by Big K.R.I.T. which is filled with nothing but emotion, than a song with nothing but multi-syllable rhyme schemes in it.

My question is, if I was to change my style up to fit in with more mainstream listeners, would you take advantage, or would it all be for nothing?

These lines coincide with me not believing in religion. I believe in God, but sometimes it’s sort of hard to believe in someone you can’t see. I still try speaking to him from time to time though, and this was one of those times. With that being said, we all know that everything that we read isn’t true either. So my question is, is the Bible actually true? And how are we to know if we weren’t there to see it? It confuses the crap out of me to be honest. Also, if it isn’t him giving us life, then what the crap is really going on?

If you flip this song, it’ll have the same meaning, and the same emotion. Pawlicki and Berry are two teachers at my high school that have been like sisters to me. Without them, I’d probably relapse.

Ego and pride make up my parents, but I don’t have either one of them and a lot of people don’t see that. The thrill of me saying it, and the love that I was hoping to feel from making music is gone. My best friends Hali and Valeria are doing their thing, and I’m doing my thing without them. With that being said, it feels as if our relationship has gone down the drain. There is zero communication between either of us.

The majority of my family is self-centered and think everything revolves around them. This is me saying I won’t deal with it anymore. This is actually my dying wish as well, even though if I died, that wish would be fulfilled. Also, even though I said they weren’t worth losing my voice, I still ended up losing it -_-

I’m pretty sure no one counts on their family being unsupportive. Therefore, love for them is non-existent, and through the years I’ve grown so distant from them that I could actually write them a letter just because I don’t want to speak to them verbally even though we live in the same house.

In my younger days (my last three relationships) were tragic, and now people still think I’m that same person when I’m completely different.