I haven’t come that close to crying since Hali left and that was around 09-10. So, I hugged her, and she hugged back, and I had to get away.

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Ms. Frazier was my advisory teacher during 9th grade, and somehow she saw I wasn’t the same, so she approached me and I told her those exact words, and she promised that she would.

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I almost started to cry for the first time in a VERY long time, and it HAD to start storming since I stood outside waiting on my mom to pick me up. Way to lighten the mood Mother Nature -_-

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It’s my tenth grade year, and I’m back at Grace King, but they didn’t have my name in their system, so they told me I didn’t belong there. (I’ll be honest, that sounded wayyy harsher at that point in time, but I was probably still upset.)

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Here I am contemplating suicide again which is a sin, which is why it isn’t my lane. But, I would do it before ever turning on her.

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Double entendre:

  1. Let’s say, someone pulled a knife on us, it would be me that took the blade so she’d have a chance to run because she had more life left inside of her than I did at the time.

  2. If I was the one stabbed, she’d literally walk off with life.

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Metaphorically, Valeria was like my crutches, and now that she’s gone, I can’t seem to find her, hence the pieces of a broken friendship. And as far as I can tell, there will be no peace without her, so I missed the train.

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It still hurts to think about it, but if I got over some people would say “Boys are so insensitive”, and others would say it was the “sane” thing to do instead of dwelling on it. I also struggle with the fact I have no one to vent to but you guys. I mean, no disrespect but I don’t know any of you, haha.

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Even with the drama, we never fought about anything, but we both had our share of doubts about eachother. For example, me questioning her loyalty, and her questioning whether I would attempt suicide again. In the midst of that, she had a boyfriend that took her virginity, and life took mine. (Thank god that life is a girl). And then she made friends, and I had her as my only friend.

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