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but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams Warsan Shire – For women who are 'difficult' to love.
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Although she has changed, and tried to become less ‘difficult’, he is still slipping away from her. Even while he is asleep they are growing further apart.

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Chloe
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2 years

He is dreaming about other women while they sleep next to each other because his distaste for her real personality — which he struggles to suppress — is affecting his attraction to her.

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381a5f40bb2569954f42ceac7895be2c

763

8 years

It’s almost as though he’ll always have a complaint or a reason to leave her. One would think the woman would feel herself slipping away in HER dreams not the other way around but it goes to show that if its not for her aggressiveness then the man will find something that’ll be the difference maker between their relationship. Essentially she’s changed herself for no reason

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and you tried to change didn't you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
prettier
less volatile, less awake Warsan Shire – For women who are 'difficult' to love.
Genius Annotation 2 Contributors ?

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The Genius annotation is the work of the Genius Editorial project. Our editors and contributors collaborate to create the most interesting and informative explanation of any line of text. It’s also a work in progress, so leave a suggestion if this or any annotation is missing something.

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She knows that she might be perceived as ‘difficult’, so she tries to change herself into the type of woman she thinks he might like.

The doubling of “less volatile, less awake” shows the two states of being are symbiotic, and any reduction in volatility will be a reduction in being awake– or alive.

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381a5f40bb2569954f42ceac7895be2c

763

8 years

I definitely love the question the author asks, “you tried to change didn’t you?” It’s so common for women to play docile and lessen their aggressiveness for the sake of salvaging a relationship

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Fff9905c72cfeac78790c904eb70f4a7

2,076

8 years

definitely. notice also how the poem pivots on the question, “and you tried to change didn’t you?”. brilliant.

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he tells you that no man can live up to the one who
lives in your head Warsan Shire – For women who are 'difficult' to love.
Genius Annotation 2 Contributors ?

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The Genius annotation is the work of the Genius Editorial project. Our editors and contributors collaborate to create the most interesting and informative explanation of any line of text. It’s also a work in progress, so leave a suggestion if this or any annotation is missing something.

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He tells her that her expectations of a man are unrealistic, and that she obsesses over an idealized image (one that “lives in [her] head”).

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381a5f40bb2569954f42ceac7895be2c

763

7 years

Words like these are common mind games played by men who don’t attempt to live up to a woman’s expectations. This is the essence, the heart, of the poem. He doesn’t take ownership of his shortcomings but instead makes the woman feel like she’s impossible, that she’s living in her head with too strong of an imagination. But her standards aren’t too much in general, just too much for a man not willing to step up to the plate.

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every woman before or after you
is doused in your name Warsan Shire – For women who are 'difficult' to love.
Genius Annotation 2 Contributors ?

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The Genius annotation is the work of the Genius Editorial project. Our editors and contributors collaborate to create the most interesting and informative explanation of any line of text. It’s also a work in progress, so leave a suggestion if this or any annotation is missing something.

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Every woman he has been (or will be) with reminds him of her.

“Doused” means drenched in a liquid. Dousing is often done to extinguish a fire, so the suggestion here may be that her name puts a damper on the heat and passion of the man’s other romances.

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381a5f40bb2569954f42ceac7895be2c

763

8 years

I think she means that every woman who he has dealt with or will deal with (which is foreshadowing that their relationship will not last) will be compared to her. The line above states that she’s dizzying and too much for him in such a new way. It catches him off guard, intrigues him but she is too much for him. She’s unnatainable and interesting all in one. It’s only right that he’ll compare her and mention her forever because he loved her but his love was controlling and smothering for someone as intense and free as she is (you are).

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