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A “screed” is a political rant. In referece to the previous line, Bill O'reilly has had many offensive and outlandish screeds in the past (something of which Kilmeade is probably not intellectually capable).
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Brian Kilmeade is without a doubt, the stupidest Fox News anchor. With plenty of the things he says, you’d wonder what he was smoking.
To pour one out for Alan motherfuckin' Colmes Jon Stewart – Fox News Diss
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Alan Colmes was Sean Hannity’s co-host for the news program “Hannity & Colmes.” Colmes provided the Liberal aspects of the argument, while Hannity showed the conservative side.
Colmes' liberality is the reason for Jon’s toast here.
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Jon Stewart bashes Fox News anchor Sean Hannity constantly in his recent episode of “The Daily Show” for his out of context allegations against rapper Common and his “A Letter To The Law” freestyle
Also, this rhyme is very similar to John Cleese’s poem to Sean Hannity.
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“Kvetch” is a yiddish word meaning “complain.” As previously stated, Jon Stewart isn’t the kvetch here…
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Gretchen Carlson (the Stanford Class of 1990 honors graduate who claimed on air she did not know the definitions of “ignoramus” or “czar”) is Fox News' “raspy bitch” anchor, which is a perfect tie in to the next line…
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“Fugazi” is Italian slang for fake, which makes sense when talking about Fox. However, John also emphasized the “gay” part of “fugazi,” most likely referenceing his constant anti-gay subject matter.
When Glenn Beck left fox, he stated that it was because he had other things to do and that he “didn’t like controversy” (Beck not being a stranger in the least to controversy).
John states here that Beck’s reasons for leaving may have been more “colorful.” Beck seems like the kind of person who would up and quit at the first sign of support for the gay community from his employer.
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What is this?
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In this case, the “puddles of lies” refers to all of Fox’s fraudulent, out of context, bullshit.
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Eagles are noble and majestic creatures, which is how Fox News makes themselves out to be. With all of their “squawking” lately, they bear much more similarity to the chicken hawk variety of bird.
Two alternate meanings of ‘chicken hawks’: people who support war but avoided military service (see here); older gay people who prefer younger partners (see here). Either way, there’s a predatory connotation
