I’m getting as snarky at the contestants on a game show hosted by legendary frag queen Ru Paul.

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My penis stays limp during intercourse much like the character Bernie in the comedy Weekend at Bernie’s.

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My penis has the girth of an overweight British singer.

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I’m am so accomplished that two actors on the Nickelodeon show All That would be able to tell.

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I’m getting oral sex from a fictional princess in a popular racing game.

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So she actually said “Don’t Stop!”

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And having sex with a Hot Pocket is more beneficial because having sex with a real women is very tedious with the amount of things you have to flick much like a children’s game.

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The girl I’m having sex with is so cold, that having intercourse with a heated up Hot Pocket would be more pleasurable.

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When people see the amount white powder I snort, they confuse me for legendary drug user Charlie Sheen.

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Putting my money on a African-American girl makes it resemble a favorite southern cuisine.

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