I’m having sex in a position that dogs do. So much so that I might actually be having sex with a dog.

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That crispy fattening genitalia makes me erect.

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I avoid condoms and watch the tax cuts I receive for fathering illegitimate children stack up.

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I’ll blow my load on a women’s face and then snort coke of a children’s movie DVD.

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She is saying that my Japanese electronic pets make her genitalia slippery.

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Blow my penis like a person would blow a clarinet.

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Once again, I am receiving oral sex in a family restaurant. I could have had anal sex in another family restaurant but decided against it.

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She has no gag reflex thanks to experimental surgery from Dr. Dick Delaware.

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Instead of the traditional spoons, I’ll gag these teeny boppers with my penis.

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