Have her sprung on my dick Cocktales by Too Short

Too Short informs you that your girlfriend is “sprung on” (in love with) his dick (“sprung on my dick” is a phrase regularly used in this context)

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And go dig in them guts like a gardener Cocktales by Too Short

“Dig in them cuts” is a crass, carnivorous reference to sex

The gardener analogy is nice though, casting the woman’s uterus as fertile soil in need of attention

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She's like another bitch named Christine
Bitch so dumb, I named her "misdemeanor"
Cause it had to be a crime to be that dumb
Cocktales by Too Short

Christine: Tooshy, what does that word mean that you call me?

Too Short: “Misdemeanor”, Christine..it’s a crime that is punishable by less than one year in prison

Christine: Do you mean a minimum sentence or a maximum sentence?

Too Short: (fumes, consults Barbri outline)

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December 13th, 2013

She’s like another “freak” not bitch.

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Finest bitch around, ain't got no man Cocktales by Too Short

Joanne, an extraordinarily “fine” (beautiful) young lady, clearly has some commitment issues

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Hella freaky, won't say no for shit Cocktales by Too Short

Annette is “hella” (meaning “very”; a Bay Area word) “freaky” (sexual), so she’s always ready to make love

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Annette Cocktales by Too Short

The “Annette —> dick —> shit —> bitch” rhyme progression is loosely-structured and brilliant

For more on the unconventional rhymes that dominate rap music, visit Rap Genius University

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My name is Short. My game is long Cocktales by Too Short

Although his name is “Too Short”, his “game” (charisma with the ladies) is “long” (plentiful/abundant)

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I didn't fuck her freaky ass but it was still fun Cocktales by Too Short

“There’s more to romance than just sex! You kids today don’t know! A caress, some modesty…it can be quite nice!” — Grandma

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My dick is big and her nigga had a little one Cocktales by Too Short

Tina’s boyfriend had not properly “broken her in”, it seems

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I'm trying to get freaky cause I love the funk Cocktales by Too Short

Too Short insistently accosted this young lady; he wanted to “get freaky” (make love) because he “loves the funk”, which is a play on words, meaning:

1) He loves funky music

2) He loves the funky aroma of an aroused woman

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