I’m gonna skip Yo Gotti entirely. He’s as boring and forgettable as always. Instead, I wanna focus on Nicki Minaj. But before that, i wanna show you folks an unorthodox method of rhyming, demonstrated by Jay Z himself:

Now I want you to contrast that with this delivery by Nicki Minaj:

What these deliveries have in common is that the employ an unorthodox (and usually favorable in my case) method of rhyming – The rhymes are within the lines themselves rather than on the end of the couplets. But I contrasted those songs for a reason. You notice how Jay Z doesn’t stress the end of the couplet, thus giving the listener the impression that the rhyme was to be expected, while instead giving equal weight to both halves of the line? Well the result of that is that Jay’s song feels smooth and natural. Nicki however, sounds disjointed, and it seems like she’s rhyming China with China with Chyna with China. None of this is assisted by the trash-ass beat she’s rhyming over nor the fact that for some reason a multi-millionaire is smuggling cocaine in her vagina.

2017 was a year I spent largely in mental decline. So I grew a new appreciation for artists who try to be sympathetic and reach out to their fans. Someone who says “Hey, I get that you’re in pain, I’ve been there, you’re not alone”. The problem with MGK’s approach is that it’s vague and clearly tailored for radio sympathy. “At My Best” does nothing with it’s intent because MGK never discusses his adversity or his pain. He just vaguely declares he’s got issues just like we’ve got issues. Which is all well and good except that that comes off like so much nothing that it feels like a jest. The corny, bland chorus doesn’t help either, quoting the classic Marilyn line “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best”. Which is fine, except that… well when it was said by a mentally ill woman in the limelight with a drug problem, it came off like something meant to be dwelled on, a reflection of that person’s mental health. When it’s said in vague pop music, it just becomes pretentious, ridiculous, and preachy. Here’s to the hopes that the strange white mediocrity that is MGK goes away with 2017.

In the early 2010s, a weird jolt of rock suddenly popped up on the radio. Spearheaded largely by fun. and Imagine Dragons, it looked like rock music had finally figured out what it was in the new millennium, and nostalgic folks like myself were hopeful. And then fun. dissolved into nothing, Nate Ruess pursued a solo career that doesn’t seem to have gone anywhere, and Bleachers put out like one album. We were left with the deceptive mediocrity that is Imagine Dragons. I remember when these guys burst onto the scene with “Radioactive” and “Demons”, giving the impression that they were the next big arena rock act – then I heard their first album and realized they were a synthetic pop act with a couple of rock songs in them.

Everything I’ve heard since has been a vindication of that opinion, and nothing proves me more right than “Thunder”, a big nothing of a song that fails on every level. Most notably, a structural level. To demonstrate, I’d like to contrast it, oddly enough, with a dubstep song. You know how in dubstep it builds to the big moment (in it’s case the drop)? Well, “Thunder” decides that’s not important and it can go from an underwhelming verse to some kind of Bohemian Rhapsody-esque boom with… Chipmunk voice for some reason repeating the word “thunder” over and over like that’s supposed to do anything. It’s a nothing of a song that is unfortunately, everywhere.

As I’ll be mentioning in the annotations quite a bit, my mental health took a sharp nose dive in 2017, and it almost ended me in the process. During the nose dive, I lost a lot of my creative ability and walked away from reviewing. Thankfully I’ve since recovered, and couldn’t be healthier.

And then went on to release one of the worst metal albums of all time. Just saying.

Before people get pedantic, there is a a band on Tidal called Liturgy, but it is not to be confused with the Liturgy I’m referencing, which is the controversial avant-garde black metal act of the same name.