(Only needed 12 bars for this one) CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

Not even a lie but besides that…I did kinda choke this round, in between rounds 2 and 3 I went over to my homie’s apartment, got kinda high, and finished the battle there.

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If you can beat me, I will produce your debut mixtape/EP/album/whatever or at least a large portion of it (up to 10 tracks) CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

I wouldn’t have made this deal if I had any chance of losing, real talk

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[MAYHEM ROUND 3] CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

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And out your whole round you only had one bar I’m gon' see
You bout as fly as Wright brothers…before 1903
CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

The first airplane was invented in 1903, so before that the Wrights were just fucking up.

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You gonna rep the East? Okay, that’s effin’ weak CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

He said some shit about “You gonna rep the west, okay, do your best.” This rebuttal expresses the exact same sentiment with more fuck-you and better multisyllabic rhyming.

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You dress like a fat bitch in a pink cheeta-print tee
Well…I’m guessing you do, because you’ve never been seen in the streets
Cause you like a crippled bitch, needin' a machine just to breathe
I got them iron lungs, you got one around your body
CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

Fat chicks (well I don’t know about anywhere else in the country but fat chicks in the Bay Area) looooooooove them some animal print.

I’m not mad at it though, I love fat chicks.
I got iron lungs from smoking all this Cali tree all the damn time.
Our friend Funkmaster Jack has an iron lung cause he can’t survive outside of it.

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Swag Master Jacob
October 19th, 2013

yaw man this raw as hell
Keep doin watchu doin cos we support yhu dawg
420

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And I hope you think that’s stupid and disgusting, cause suprise, suprise
That’s the way I feel ‘bout four out of 5 of your lines
CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

I know I kind of beat this point to death already but…Jesus Christ there’s nothing to his side of this battle at all except nasty lil threats against my mother. I just figured that if he could get out of pocket with the gross-out factor lyrics, I could do it too.

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I will shit up your asshole and piss on your dick
Dawg, you infected, that shit on your dick…has some shit on it’s dick
CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

This is actually another Dirtbag Dan vs. Soul Khan reference, I think. Dirtbag Dan said some shit like “I will rip off your head, and shit on your neck. That shit on your neck has some shit on it’s neck!” (referring to Soul Khan’s mild neckbeard)

Also lol diseases.

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How you gon' like it when I stick my razor blades here? Let’s just see
Hold up, where are those razor blades goin? They gettin' left in me?
Who knows? You can’t even spit your lil murder raps descriptively!
CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

The joke, obviously is that I didn’t say shit about where “here” was that that razor blade was gettin' stuck. Again, all of dude’s bars read like this to me. Vague and un-intimidating murder threats. I figure in a keystyle battle that shit ain’t shit cause, like, you know I’m not flyin' out to New York to see this boy in the street, and he ain’t comin' out to Cali to do anything likewise, so I might as well just come with some pure disrespect and nothing else.

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You’re never ever testin' me
My bitch gave your dad a STD
You starin' up at the sky like “Lord, bless me please"
How ‘bout you stop with all that prayin, and just emcee?
CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

Everything Funkmaster Jack dropped in his first two rounds sounded like this to me. Sorry not sorry.

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