I slide like M. Bison, your fat ass more E. Honda
Bring flames like Dhalsim, and my kicks’ll T-Hawk ya
So think you’ll see me in the street? You fuckin' lame, guy
My bitch look like Chun-Li and your bitch is named Guy!
CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

Street Fighter references win you rap battles.

Fun fact: Dhalsim is the only character I’ve ever been good at in Street Fighter.

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Even if you could pop me like ‘Pac, I’d find a way to refute ya
Ain’t you heard? Pac’s alive in Cuba
CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

There’s a few things going on in here. First, the cadence of the line is supposed to emulate the cadence of a line in the classic Soul Khan vs. Dirtbag Dan battle (at least I think it was that battle) Where Soul said some cool shit like “Now even if you blow up, there’s no way they’ll ever be seein' ya…ain’t you heard? Jews run the media!” (for those who don’t know, Soul Khan’s Jewish, something people liked to try to have lines about when he still fucked with battle rap)
Also, it’s a reference to the unfortunately untrue myth that Tupac Shakur is still alive in Cuba. He said some shit about putting 5 shots in me like ‘Pac so I was like “Oh yeah? Well fuck you.”

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Ok so you’re an owlbear, is that named after the way your mother howled when she put nare on her back to rip off the hair? CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

…First of all, it’s spelled Nair, and second of all…no?

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You have Dungeons and Dragons bars like a fourth-level bard
And Catnip’s a fuckin' Owlbear, you best fuck up outta here
CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

Owlbears are these ridiculous little low-level monsters in Dungeons and Dragons, basically a bear with the head and feathers of an owl.

Also, I never fucked with 4th Edition, but in 3.5, Bard was a suss-ass class. They couldn’t do shit on their own all they have are buffs for the rest of their team.
Basically, these couple lines serve to rebutt all that boy’s talk about violence and shit ‘cause I was just reading over it and thinking “this sounds like some nerd shit.”

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See, I keep an actual ninjato, swing my sword hella hard CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

A ninjato is a Japanese ninja sword, and yeah, I can actually wield one and shit. Copped one in this sword shop in SF Japantown. I practice swordplay with a set of kendo sticks regularly.

So don’t come around my way talkin' that mess.
(Also, “swing my sword” is a very battle-rap thing to say, imagine that I pronounced the W in sword hella hard like New York cats do)

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That shit about “I’ll kill your daddy and fuck your mom” would’ve sounded dope, but…my parents been divorced 15 years CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

…and you can’t have even been alive for more than 13, tops.

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Your whole rap styles a gimmick just like Free’s beard CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

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I’m from the California Coast, boy, beaches and bridges
You tryna Mac like Dre, but you ain’t sleepin' with bitches
CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

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But hey…start your rebuttals any time you feel the need CaptainCatnip vs. Mayhem-till-AM Rap Battle (Round One) by Captain Catnip (Ft. Mayhem-Till-AM)

This was inspired by a funny little video game I used to play on my cousin’s computer. You were a dude in armor walking around this island fighting giant spiders and shit, and there was a potion seller in some bar who wore this tie-dye shirt and had hippie shades. Whenever you were done doing business with him, he would just be like “Return here any time you feel the need” in this deep, smooth baritone voice. I just always thought that sounded cool.

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People sit in their cars in gas-station lots

And eat and smoke.
31 by James Franco

Most gas stations have a mini-mart of some kind that sells cheap, shitty food to weary travelers who need to refuel themselves along with their vehicles. Smoking is prohibited at gas stations because of the risk that an open flame could ignite gasoline fumes in the air and start a fire or even cause an explosion, so smokers (whatever they may be smoking) get around this restriction by just smoking inside their cars with the windows rolled up.

This is not recommended, as it greatly increases your risk of cancer as well as making your whip smell shitty.

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