Special thanks to Annie Crane for reminding me that Rich and I shared a womb. Isn’t that fucking WEIRD?!

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A social commentary on those judgmental zebras

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Inspired by @LEMON’s love of pretending he’s done kidding and it’s time to get serious… and then doing one more joke

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This was inspired by a joke @MetaWorldPeace made at the Rehearsal Dinner. It was added at the last minute, and bumped a joke about how Rich doesn’t stick his neck into my business – that giraffe on the other hand…

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This was written before I even knew which animals we’d see at the zoo. As it turned out, I rehearsed the speech at the last minute… in front of the sea lions! I’ll never know if their yapping was due to my joke or wanting food, but I have to assume my joke

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Monica Lewinsky, who turned 40 last week, made this 3 minute, 47 second recording in November 1997 and addressed it to “handsome.”

It was believed to have been destroyed years ago, but a copy was secretly made and has subsequently surfaced.

Lewinsky is the only voice heard.

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Questionable – wouldn’t rappers still want to own the flyest autonomous car around, rather than sharing some lame ride with the masses?

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