Soo, am I the only person on this website that Enjoys Tyga?
It really seems like it EVERYONE hates him on Rg
Anybody want a track review?
post your song here and ill tell you what I think about it and will give it a 1/10 rate
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I…I…I need to find me one of these.
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RG City Vol 3
I made my way over to the Know Your Place Cafe to meet Detective Northstars and to get to the bottom of this case for good. As I walked in I saw Northstars sitting at a table with a fellow I’ve never seen before. North saw me and called me over to join in his meeting with Algernon, one of his newer informants who also ran this fine establishment. After a few beers and exchanging some pleasantries plagued with profanity, he pointed us to the far end of the cafe where three individuals sat in the dark…
As me and North approached, we could hear one of the three say “Shut up phgts, here come some phgts.” They didn’t seem too thrilled as we approached, but after a few beers on us, they changed their attitudes. These homies were known as Haru, RTJ2 and J-Dilla. We had heard the stories around this notorious group of troublemakers that had become mythical over the years. They were deep in the underground and knew everything that happened in their dusty corner of the world. They wouldn’t spill any information to us though, they were rather cautious because of the line of work and that’s perfectly understandable.
We left the bar defeated, down on cash and with absolutely no real leads. As we slowly made our way down the street, a shady figure approached us. He was clad in shadows but North said he recognized him from back in the Cafe. It seems this sneaky jabroni had been following us and listening in on our conversation with the Dust Squad. He didn’t say a word as North and I stared him down, waiting for something to happen. Finally he reached his hand out and handed us an envelope. As we took it, he disappeared back into the shadows from where he came.
North and I could only look at each other puzzled for a minute from the events that had just unfolded. I opened the envelope to uncover a record of a conversation. It was between an anonymous individual that appeared to have some power and another trying to buy him out. See it for yourself…
We had no idea how this was in relation to our case but seeing as we had no other leads and knowing that the 2012 RapGenius Awards were at stake, we went to North’s office in order to investigate the one name that was uncensored in the file.
Upon arriving at North’s crib, he jumped on his computer and began searching the web for any mention of this person and I started calling around on some people who owed me a favor as well. After a few hours we turned up diddly squat. The only information we found was that he doesn’t even mic, which means he must be one twisted individual…
After a few more drinks we passed out at the office with little to NOTHING accomplished… However come morning, Northstars had a mysterious email from Ihatephaggots@phgtmgnt.biz with routing numbers and bank account info. We decided to head back down to Know Your Place Cafe to see if we can meet up with the Dust Squad face to face but…
Well, lets just say it was already too late…
It’s 9 pm, It’s Dark and RapGenius City is fuckin’ Hot. We smoothly eased our way on into the Know Your Place Cafe; didn’t want to attract too much attention yet we still acted like we owned the damn place. Struttin on over to the bar, I ordered myself a smooth gin and juice, my partner PioZon over here was telling the bartender how to make his favorite homemade drink — the Bazooka Tooth. Which, as it turns out, is simply 4 different Irish whiskeys all thrown into one. Mama ain’t raised no bitch when she sat little PioZon down at the age of 5 and handed him his first bottle of Jameson. Funny story about that, see we grew up across the street from each other and — I’m getting off topic aren’t I?
As we’re sitting at the bar, pondering how to get into contact with Dust Squad, a mysterious figure was seen leaving a back room of the cafe. Yeah, kind of sketchy for a cafe to have secret rooms for hidden meetings, but this is RG City folks. Home of the wanna-be thug rappers and transgender one man wolf packs. Shit, my grammy lives in RG City and even she stays strapped. She ain’t getting no downvote without a fight!
Now as this mysterious figure walked out of the cafe, I noticed his trench coat had a bit of a stain on it… a stain that resembled blood… or cherry Kool-aid. Take your pick. I quickly headed over towards the room he’d come from, and ran face first into a locked and barred door. As Piozon started beating on the door, swearing profusely, trying to slam his way in, I chose the simpler option. Three barstools later and that door was non existent. A look of grim horror crossed my face as I saw what was in the room….
fuckin’ albums broken everywhere man
What kind of monster breaks throwback vinyls? Seriously, they were shattered everywhere. This must have been Dust Squad’s prized possession, hell every Canibus album to date was in there on vinyl, shattered into a million pieces. There was clearly some sort of disagreement in this room.
We looked around, and quickly noticed three bodies covered in the remnants of unknown hip hop vinyls. awwww shit RG City is gonna flip tits about this I thought to myself.
“Pio, that’s Dust Squad homie. Our only source of information… offed.” I muttered under my breath as my partner in crime wandered over towards the grisly scene.
“That piece of shit leaving the cafe — son of a bitch, must of been in on this somehow!” PioZon fumed as he stomped around the room, continuing to add to the wreckage by stomping on other records littering the floor.
I left the room, figuring that the murderer was long gone when I realized we still had those bank account numbers. I had a homie or two over at MoneyTeam Investing who knew a thing or two about international banking. I quickly pulled out my motorola RAZR (don’t ever say Northstars didn’t call in style, yo) and called up my good norwegian friend ScopeY. Now, ScopeY may only be thirteen, and a bit of a prankster, but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t know how to fuck around on the internet. within 20 minutes at the cafe (which Piozon and I used wisely to pound down a few more drinks) I received a call back with a name tied to a bank account. He told me, coincidentally enough, that this same bank account had actually been used to wire funds to a few of the judges (ScopeY included) of the Rap Battle that occurred in RG City months ago. Turns out, there was a bit of a conspiracy over the results of the competition. One rapper even went rogue on us, taking shots at everyone from Mayor Maboo to unimportant scrubs like OMWP who has just been released from the RG mental institution.
This just added a new layer of depth to the mystery. Who the fuck was this mysterious figure behind this corruption of judging, and why the fuck was he in my city? I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let a half rate jabroni fuck around with the justice of my city. We quickly set up a bit of a scheme. Using ScopeY’s preteen hacking abilities, we were able to withdraw about 50,000 IQ out of this anonymous jabroni’s bank account. The only trace of our hack left behind was this anonymous message.
”you just got fucked up the ass by justice, with no vaseline” — Detectives
Now being the quick witted fellows we are, we knew this anonymous figure probably had some sort of computer hacker on his side himself. We left an easily obtainable IP Address in the hack, one belonging to none other than myself. We knew he’d track it down and try to take us out, so we holed up in my new refurbished office and waited for our opportunity to strike back.
Days passed. We’d dranken more 40’s than all of the Wu Tang Clan and Maxi combined. In our boredom we’d taken to writing detective short stories while we waited. Suddenly, a knock was heard at the door. Pretending we hadn’t heard, we snuck over towards the front door. A mysterious buzzing noise could be heard on the outside of the door. This mother fucker was drilling into my Mahoganey fuckin’ doors! Now I was really pissed ; I set my gun down and busted out my good ol’ Crobar. This bastard was goin’ down alright, but it might hurt a bit in the process. He swung the door open after drilling through my jade locks (fuck yeah I got jade locks, Eatin’ motha fuckas), and peered into my unlit office. I quickly brought the crowbar down on his head, and bam. Out cold as a drunk PioZon stumbles over and smashes my best vase on his head! We recognized him as none other than OMWP. As I dragged him inside, Piozon noticed one other individual peering in from outside; stunned that his thug had just been taken out. PioZon quickly leaped at him and easily overpowered this flimsy feminine man. As he struggled in vain to break free, I recognized this smartass. I whipped out my RAZR again, and pulled up a photo of Ariana Grande on the screen. Shoving it into the Jabroni’s face, he quickly became paralyzed in love with this figure. Lemson’s weak point I muttered.
We quickly tied his bitch-ass up and sat him down. This damn troll! Why was he fuckin with the integrity of RG City? Why was he trying to ruin the forum awards AND the rap battle? I sat him down and asked him about it. He replied, with a maniacal grin, “ I’m like a dog chasing cars, I wouldn’t know what to do if I caught one, you know, I just do…things.”
But what about the money? Why would you do such a thing, we wondered. We asked him what he was gaining out of this. Someone had to be paying him off.”“It’s not about the money, it’s about sending a message. Everything burns!”
But what the fuck? Why?! What was your point? You literally accomplished nothing. You made one user appear schizophrenic; who knows what fucking with the forum voting would have done. He smiled at us smugly as we waited for a response. He looked up at us and babbled
“Introduce a little anarchy, upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos, I’m an agent of chaos , and you know the thing about chaos? It’s fair.”
We suddenly realized we truly were sitting down with a nutjob. There was only one place for this man. PioZon and I dropped him off at the mental hospital with his cohort OMWP, and they were quickly restrained and thrown into solitary confinement. Unbeknownst to us, these two were actually lovers…
Kinda like Harley Quinn and the Joker if you ask me. One Nut Job, one crazy gender questionable psychopath.
Well RG City, everything’s safe and sound again, all thanks to Detectives Northstars and PioZon. There’s still one thing on my mind though… during our interrogation with Lemson, he mentioned a “higher up” who had given him the funds and the idea behind his plots. Now, being the twisted fuck he is, there was no way for us to get it out of him, that fucker enjoyed our torturous interrogations. Seemed to love getting and inflicting pain on others. Fuckin sadistic, man. Who is the mysterious leader behind Lemson’s capers? Will Northstars and PioZon ever stop these criminals? Find out next time, on the next episode of RG City.
forgot to add
S/o to pio for that screen^
Can’t wait for the next episode.
“these two were actually lovers…"
LOL I DIED
“Days passed. We’d dranken more 40’s than all of the Wu Tang Clan and Maxi combined. In our boredom we’d taken to writing detective short stories while we waited.”
Just got something to eat, now time to read
Oh wow, you really put Lemson on blast.
Can you investigate who might be behind the attack on the rap genius forum?
Yeah who is this Booooooooooooooooooooooooom motherfucker
We need you detective
A detective is always here to help
Now, ScopeY may only be thirteen, and a bit of a prankster, but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t know how to fuck around on the internet.