Can I have some Feedback for this rap I wrote?

youtube.com/watch?v=nEP3rl6B9v0

Sorry if I sound a little out of breath, I just came in from skating.

July 6th, 2013

Your a good rapper lyrically, but need to work on your delivery, b/c if there was a beat behind you nobody would hear you lol, but other than that it’s solid

July 6th, 2013

The question mark fucked up the flow IMO

July 6th, 2013

Thanks! I actually do have songs with beats, doing that without a beat was sort of an experiment. I wrote back when I was 13 without a beat so I just figured I’d say it in front of a camera

July 6th, 2013

Lol, what question mark

July 6th, 2013

And a reason I never got a beat for it is because this is or of the first things u ever wrote so back when I wrote it I didn’t understand bar structure and syllable cours nearly as well as I do now a year and a half later.

July 6th, 2013

yeah keep making videos though because other than that nobody is gonna know who you are lol, i put out a video a couple months ago, and putting out another one soon, here’s mine…..

http://rapgenius.com/groups/the-forum/discussions/27384-New-to-rap-genius-14-years-old-from-ny-and-i-spit-i-have-a-video-for-starters

July 6th, 2013