methus

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Roughly translates as:

It’s mine it’s yours
Today is all ours
When the world comes to play
Show that I can cheer, cry, smile, scream
No matter the outcome, we will overflow

“Extravasar”(overflow) in this context refers to the emotions she feels while watching the World Cup, so there is some wordplay here (you might say the World Cup runneth over). The World Cup has a history of emotions running high and “spilling over”, especially in Brazil.

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Eben-ezer was the name given to the stone of remembrance that Samuel raised to God in 1 Samuel 7:12. It translates as “Thus far has the Lord helped us”, and therefore the author is acknowledging his reliance on God.

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Reference to the TV series “Boy Meets World”, in which the object of the lead character’s affections was named Topanga.

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Playdough is doing his own thing now, and has realized he doesn’t need the backing of a major record label. He’s doing it on his own (in conjunction with the fine folks at Man Bites Dog).

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These lines (as well as the track) are taken from Natural One by Folk Implosion

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Thomas was by no means among the shortest players in the NBA, but at 6' 1", he was not among the tallest either. What he lacked in height, he made up for with his dribbling and his layups, as evidenced by the fact that he is the Detroit Pistons' all-time points leader.

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Larry Bird was awarded the NBA’s Most Valuable Player award 3 years in a row in the 1980’s. During this time, his shoe of choice was the Converse Weapon.

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There’s an outtake of this commercial (apparently not currently available online) where Kevin McHale substitutes his lines with:

Mr. Director we need a new script, cause we’re getting tired of doing that shit

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Reference to “Charlotte’s Web”. Zuckerman was the name of the farmer who owned Wilbur the pig, and Templeton the rat sang a song about the county fair being a “smorgasbord orgasbord”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nq7pskwFUv0

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This is a clip from Friday Night Lights, featuring the character “Boobie Miles”. Boobie is a gifted athlete, but sometimes lets his ego get the best of him. Heath can relate to this character.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7reMpkYycA

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"Eight arsons have demolished four of the seven main Heide..." (News Genius – Heidelberg Project is Under Attack) | accepted

It’s up to 9 now. Also, I would change “this year” to 2013.

"(The relationship between the Mason-Dixon needs some fixin')" (Brad Paisley – Accidental Racist) | accepted

This line also features the most overt rhyming of the word “fixin'” since this line from “Punk Rock Girl” by The Dead Milkmen.

"My flow is like, liquid oxygen / Rip it often with specif..." (Deltron 3030 – Things You Can Do) | rejected

"And everything is to the back with a little slack" (Kris Kross – Jump - 52259) | accepted

"Saggin’ my pants, not caring what I show" (Snoop Dogg & Wiz Khalifa – Young, Wild & Free) | accepted

"You went to Cranbrook, that's a private school / What's t..." (Eminem – B. Rabbit v. Papa Doc) | accepted

To drive the point home, this is what Cranbrook looks like:

"Runyon Ave." (Trick Trick – Welcome 2 Detroit) | accepted

It’s also a record label started by Kon Artist and Kuniva of D12.

"Sally Ride" (Billy Joel – We Didn't Start the Fire) | accepted

Since, as you so articulately pointed out, the first option would be impossible, that lends credence to your 2nd theory. Or, in the words of Arlo Guthrie, perhaps “there was a third possibility that you hadn’t even counted upon”, and there’s a very subtle humorous subtext present in the original explanation. It’s hard to say for sure, as the orignal explainer is being rather ambiguous.

"Murkin' and doin' time" (T-Baby – It's So Cold in The D) | rejected

I’m pretty sure this should be merkin, as in a pubic wig. Detroit has a big problem with merkinfaust.