"Tastes like Swag": Cooking with Lil B (Part1: Wonton Soup)

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a culinary journey with Rap Genius editor Lebowski

We here at Rap Genius are not shy about our love of things based. And cooking is certainly no exception. Which is why I feel inspired by the Based God to chef his most holy sacrament: wonton soup. I’ve written this recipe style, so that you too can eat that Wonton Soup.

First off, we gotta list those ingredients. You know!
For the wontons:

  • 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
  • 1 pound ground turkey
  • 1 cup Chinese cabbage (i.e., Napa or Bok Choy)
  • 2 tablespoons cilantro
  • 2 scallions
  • 1½ teaspoons ginger root
  • 2½ teaspoons sesame oil
  • 1 tablespoon cornstarch
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tablespoon soy sauce
  • 60 wonton wrappers

And for the broth:

  • 6 cups chicken stock
  • ¼ cup rice wine or sake
  • 1 teaspoon sesame oil
  • 1 tablespoon soy sauce
  • 1 large bok choy leaf

  • 2 scallions

When you’re shopping for all this shit, you’re going to want to go to an Asian market where you can find it all in one place.

Let’s move on to the actual cooking.
First, take your big ass skillet out (you do have a big ass skillet, right?) and put crisco on that bitch. Turn your burner to medium-high to heat the oil, then drop in the turkey.

At first, the turkey will look like this:

And we want this:

So get to chopping with your spatula. When the turkey is nice and brown, take it off the heat. Now if there’s any fat in your skillet, drain it off into the sink WITHOUT dropping all of the meat.

Here’s the part where you should put this in a food processor, but seeing as I don’t have one, I’ll be using a blender.

Knife skills, do you have them?

Now you’re going to take your Chinese cabbage(I used bok choy), your cilantro(leaves only!), and your scallions and chop them until it’s fine as hell. Lastly, mince up some ginger root. After you chop one ingredient, drop it into the processor/blender then move on to the next. When all of that is done and finely processed/blended, put it in a big shiny bowl and mix in the sesame oil. I personally used spicy sesame chili oil, but I did that because I’m man enough.

It’s no joke.

Can I take you aside for a moment? Ok, thanks.
This is the part where I fuck up. See, I made this while hungry and not paying any goddamn attention. Instead of following recipe, I pretty much just dumped the rest of the ingredients into my blender. Then I got to the wonton wrappers and promptly went “Fuck.” Learn from my mistake, pay attention while cooking and don’t cook while hungry.

Ok take a tablespoon of cornstarch and put it in a bowl. Mix that with a tablespoon of water until it’s pasty like Asher Roth. In a separate bowl, drop an egg in and beat it up like the Ying Yang Twins. Put the beaten egg into the cornstarch mixture.

You didn’t put the skillet away, did you? Good. Take your throughly mixed turkey and put it in the skillet with the egg/cornstarch mix. Put it on medium for around 5 minutes or until dry, it’s your call.
Hey, give yourself a round of applause, the wonton filling is done.

Folding the wontons

This part is hard. There’s a variety of different ways you can fold the wonton, but I chose the “fuck it, I want to eat” style.
So, grab your wonton wrappers, your filling, and a bowl of water.

Yeah, my cutting board is pink. I’m a pretty bitch. You mad?
Take the wrapper, and with your index finger, wet the edges. Plop down your filling.

Now fold the wonton in half. Now wet the top two corners and fold the corners in.

Bam! wonton.

If you follow this recipe, you’re going to make 60 wontons, so get folding. Lastly, boil the wontons in batches of around 20, each for 5 minutes.

The wet part of “wet like wonton soup”

It’s all smooth sailing from here. Mix together your chicken stock, your sake, your sesame oil and soy sauce in a pot. Heat that until it starts to simmer, then put the bok choy leaf and the wontons in. When you serve, put some chopped scallions in the soup bowl.

Check it out! you’re done!

Before you take of the sacrament, don’t forget to say thanks.

Next time: we make steaks!