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Rare Chandeliers by Action Bronson
Review by 6xPlatinum
1.) Big Body Bes Intro
2.) Rare Chandeliers — – 4.5/5
3.) The Symbol — – 4.25/5
4.) Sylvester Lundgren — – 4.5/5
5.) Randy the Musical — – 4.5/5
6.) Demolition Man — – 5/5
7.) Eggs on the Third Floor — – 4.5/5
8.) Modern Day Revelations — – 4.25/5
9.) Dennis Haskins — – 4/5
10.) Bitch I Deserve You — – 4.75/5
11.) Gateway to Wizardry — – 5/5
12.) Blood of the Goat — – 4.75/5
13.) Mike Vick — – 4.25/5
Big Body Bes Intro (1:25)
Rare Chandeliers (2:39)
Well… Alchemist kicks off the tape by letting everyone know that the production is going to impress the fuck out of you. The samples throughout made me laugh; the shit about chandeliers… Perfectly over the top. AB boasting about the most unbelievable shit makes it believable. He’s spot on with his rhymes. Using chandeliers as a measuring tool for wealth is goddamn brilliant. And like I said earlier, the samples between verses are so spot on with the way I feel about the song. Having over-the-top lyrics and doing them correctly is extremely difficult. As everyone knows, listeners want “the real”, so when an artist opts to differ it and do something like what we have here, it’s going to take some true craftsmanship; Action Bronson nails it.
Drink the blood of the snake
Burn a fake at the stake
Drinkin’ grapes with the steak
Make a cake for your wake
Jamaican dancers on your face, rockin’ 8’s
The Symbol (3:34)
The first thing that hits me is the bluesy guitar that rips throughout the entire track. That with the bassline are just so perfectly grimy. Action is, per usual, on point. “Do a murder seven thirty, then they flying at nine”. The video is definitely worth mentioning — outlandish and hilarious, a lot like this entire tape. It’s just perfectly done. Bronson’s entire point with the track, or at least from my understanding, is that he’s new(ish) in the game, already being regarded as a great emcee and should now be seen as the standard for the genre. And if AB were to ever read this, this shit will still be here season after season. Fuck that’s delicious!
Sylvester Lundgren feat. Meyhem Lauren & Ag Da Coroner (2:32)
The production here reminds me of something that would be off of Madvillainy. Which obviously is a great thing. Bass line drives most of the beat, with the drums and a domineering eerie tone overlaying the whole track. Meyhem and Ag Da Coroner both drop featured verses that mesh perfectly with the tone of the track. A lot of times, I think a feature really kills the vibe of the track, but neither one do that here. From his opening line on, Action sounded excellent. I could have definitely been in for another verse, which seems to be the running trend throughout all of Rare Chandeliers.
Motherfucker raise your hand when you speak
Act wild, this forty-five is gettin’ jammed in your cheek
Randy the Musical (4:24)
I was instantly excited to see that this was a longer track (longest on the tape), as most are under the three minute mark. What I have a hard time doing is deciding which of the three “acts” I like best. Sonically, I might have to give it to the second. I do love the transition from two to three. AB uses some awesome rhyme schemes in the first that really had me going.
Shootin’ like a piston, aim for proper distance
Live from London, number crunchin’
Driving gloves with some Asian bitches rubbin’ me with sponges
Expensive lunches, wages ff of hunches
As Action told Complex (magazine), this one wasn’t produced by Alchemist, but rather an up and coming producer that Alchemist signed, Randy. Some real props should be given for the three beats he’s got on this track and the way they’ve been meshed together.
Demolition Man feat. ScHoolboy Q (2:32)
I’m a big fan of Action Bronson. And ScHoolboy Q is one of my favorites in the game at the moment. I saw the feature and was ecstatic. AB, Q and Alchemist all add up to sound fucking perfect to me. Q’s choppy flow and pronunciation are so enticing. AB, much less choppy, delivers one of my favorite verses on the entire tape. Though it’s all just boasting rhymes, he’s extremely clever at times and never too hard to follow. Basically, he’s spittin’ shit to make lesbians cry. Alchemist sticks to hi-hats and guitars, this time a little jazzy, to give out the same vibe, which clearly has worked thus far and only drives the rhymes home better. My only gripe with this song is that it is way too short. I could really go for another helping from each AB and Q. Maybe next time? It’s still the shit.
Eggs on the Third Floor (4:09)
Tempo’s slowed down and is much more laid back. That is until the 2:15(ish) mark. After that, it’s stepped up and AB is doing his thing over a chorus of chatter that make it seem like he’s rapping in a cipher (and clearly shining). First half is good, second half is fucking awesome. I was trying to make sense of the title, but couldn’t until I read the Complex interview, where AB says that it was a combination of things including a line from the song “With your moms butt naked cookin’ eggs like Ving Rhames in Baby Boy” and a reference to his days back in school. The length is spot on as the verses are extended to a not-so-traditional 22 bars.
Modern Day Revelations feat. Roc Marciano (2:47)
AB and Roc have some very good chemistry and it shows a lot. And I actually think Roc rides the beat a little better than AB. I’m not too familiar with Roc to this point, I’ve only heard a few tracks here and there, but like I said. AB had been killing this whole project thus far and for Roc to come on halfway through the tape and keep it fresh is perfect. Like the first half of Eggs on the Floor. this one is a little slower paced and relaxed. The humming sample is the unsung aspect for me. It really keeps the shit going and adds a great background feel. This track makes me want to drive around on a overcast day.
Dennis Haskins (2:00)
At two minutes, it’s pretty short, but it plays out like one long freestyle so it’s one cohesive track. The beat continues on with the same sounds that we’ve been accustomed to on the rest of the tape thus far. AB has yet to deliver a whack verse as he continues to make jokes, use wordplay and keep me intrigued with the pictures he’s painting. Tons of food, movie, hustling, car references still. Bronson’s delivery keeps everything as fresh as the opening tracks. This track doesn’t necessarily stand out above the others, but if this tape was a dinner, we’d be getting some healthy ass servings because of shit like this.
Bitch I Deserve You (3:18)
This one really does have it all. A very enticing beat (which totes maybe my favorite bassline on the whole tape), wrestling, cars, sluts, football, drugs, money, and food references, a spot on feature by Evidence. And most importantly, a Coming to America bit that AB delivers at the end that really did have me laughing my ass off. This guy’s sense of humor is out of this world. And like I said earlier, his raw talent lets him be as outlandish as he wants to and still make it extremely enjoyable. I will say, as a Bengals fan, Evidence may have my favorite line on this track with, “Boomer Esiason, flyin’ out the lion’s den”. Lot’s of shit going on with that one. As for the cons of the track, the running issue I’m having, there’s not enough! I would love another verse on here. The track reads 3:18 but the final 30 seconds are reserved for the Coming to America skit… Lastly, the title… Best on the whole tape. Fucking excellent.
Gateway to Wizardry feat. Styles P (4:18)
Alchemist drops a goddamn mesmerizing first minute and fifty seconds followed by an utterly sinister sounding back half. Holy shit is that guitar riff intimidating. Because of the sounds alone, AB’s approach seems to come off meaner and grimier than before. Style P pushes the shit over the edge. He’s perfect on the beat. And goddamn that guitar is outrageous. Luckily they made this one one of the longer tracks on the tape, because the beat is wonderful and the three verses that accompany live up to it. Outstanding track.
Blood of the Goat feat. Big Twin & Sean Price (3:35)
Play this song if you want to commit some crime. Alchemist really puts you in a zone with this beat, very eerie, very creepy sounding. Like in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, dark, ominous tones… But better. And darker. The constant mid-pitched key-tone really is putting it over the edge. If you can’t tell, I really enjoy the production on this one. Sean Price gets the feature verse and Big Twin gets the feature on the hook, I think Twin does a much better job on the hook than Sean does on his verse. Sean still fits in beautifully with the beat, given his grimy hoarse-toned flow. But the hook by Twin was even nastier. Action drops some killer four bar rhymes throughout his verse, which definitely outshine Sean P’s verse. Short(ish) only because there’s just one verse each, but they drag the beat out and repeat the hook which make this one not seem as short as the others, even still, I could have definitely done another Action verse.
Mike Vick (2:38)
A) There’s a Danny Tanner shout out. So you know the shit’s good. The beat Alchemist gives here reminds me of something that could have been off of the Quakers album earlier this year. It sounds light hearted, a little fluffier, the “do-do do-do do” sample go along with Action’s fantastic sense of humor, which I’ve mentioned on quite a few tracks. I don’t know if AB is the one to credit for the phrase “Mike Vick you”, but again, I can’t help but see the humor behind it and it strikes the perfect chord with me. This being the final track, and the final two verses that AB drops and I’ve just realized that he hasn’t had a bad verse on the entire tape… Twelve tracks (less the intro) without a bad verse; da shit.
When I first heard that AB and Alchemist were to be linking up for a project, I was very excited. I remember after Blue Chips dropped, I private messaged Action’s Rap Genius account telling him how good the shit was and how much I was looking forward to this project here. I’m very happy that it all went through and didn’t turn out like so many other dream projects that get lost in time. Regardless, I was anticipating this shit and it didn’t disappoint. Clocking in at just under forty minutes, it’s a standard mixtape length. However, the tracks are so stacked that it plays like a great LP, so I wanted the shit to be longer. But I absolutely cannot argue that this shit was free. Value times one hundred. Alchemist (and Randy) do an incredible job on the production, Bronson stays on point from start to finish, and the features all fit in with the tape throughout. There isn’t a bad track on the whole thing. It’s worth the download and the time to listen. I highly recommend Rare Chandeliers. Other than length, there are genuinely no “I wish…” moments when you listen to it. I was never hoping that something would have played out differently. I really feel bad listening to this tape, like I should have paid for it. I’ll make sure to get two copies of Action’s next studio release so I feel right about it. In the meantime, everyone should get this mixtape. It’s free and excellent.