Rap Genius LLP: A NEW Legal Service for the Rap Community

snoop and lawyer

Lawyers want to be rappers, rappers want to be lawyers; it’s a tale as old as time. And Rap Genius is no exception to the legal/rap nexus: we have editors who are graduates of elite law schools, and we also have a judge on the 9th Circuit who contributes (hint: obsessed with Gucci Mane!)

So it seems strange that not only Gucci, but Weezy, T.I., Shyne, Cassidy…some of the best rappers often end up serving time in prison. And yet they still worship their lawyers!

That’s why we are launching Rap Genius LLP, a firm committed to defending rappers' rights at a new level of professionalism. Guys…maybe if your lawyers were doing a better job, you wouldn’t have to pay “butt protection” (although I’m sure Gucci was worshiped by his fellow prisoners).

Cam’ron is the worst offender: he thinks his lawyer is a miracle worker!

It’s like my lawyer know black magic, black rabbit
Out the black hat, black

Law is a science, Cam. When your attorney sits you down, feeding you his mumbo-jumbo, guess what? HE’S BILLING!

Even more embarrassing, Cam'ron brags that his lawyer is his best friend:

Since they cut my umbilical
I knew it would be inevitable, that my case should go federal
Its part of my journey, see it might concern me
But who’s Cam’s best friend? My attorney!

Cam'ron, if you pay me, we can be BFFFEAEAE. I will be like the doting grandma you never had.

Part of the confusion comes from rappers' puns on “cases” in court vs. “cases” of champagne:

You don’t know bout the cases I get:
Court case, briefcase, suitcase, cases of Cris

But Cam, you have to understand that with litigation — unlike Cristal — more cases is not better! A good, efficient lawyer will be an adept negotiator, reaching a settlement whenever possible.

Jay-Z – an older, perhaps wiser, rapper – knows that sometimes you are your own best lawyer. He preaches the importance of legal self-help:

Forgetting all I ever knew, convenient amnesia
“I suggest you call my lawyer, I know the procedure”

and

I ain’t passed the bar, but I know a little bit
Enough that you can’t illegally search my shit

Well, Jay, I HAVE passed the bar, and I think that you’ve demonstrated a proficient working knowledge of Miranda rights and Illegal Search and Seizure (unless the Roberts Court gets their way!).

The one thing every rapper agrees on: your lawyer HAS to be Jewish. From Jay-Z:

Channel 7 news, ‘round seven Jews, head dead in the mic

to Jadakiss:

Put it out there, see if it taste right
Young Jewish bulldog keeping the case right

Well Jada, this is what we are offering you. At Rap Genius, we have young, Jewish, Yale-educated “Bulldogs” willing to represent you at deep discounts to what you already pay! Cam': we’ll rep you for free. Our team has depth and knowledge of diverse practice areas. We have “lawyers to watch lawyers” (we know oversight is important to you).

Gucci Mane, you would be our #1 client. I know that you’ve already got lawyers, but I swear — now that you’re free, if you let Rap Genius LLP represent you, you’ll never go to jail again. I love you, baller.