How many afternoons have you wasted trying to convince your father that Cam'ron is actually a genius, only for him to cartoonishly thicken his middle eastern accent and object: “All he does is rhyme the same words with themselves!”?

IT’S CALLED A HOMOPHONE! IT CAN BE QUITE CLEVER! Also YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD! AND HERE ARE…

THE TOP 10 HOMOPHONE RHYMES OF ALL TIME

10. Kanye West on “Kinda Like a Big Deal”

Alligator soufflé, got it made Special Ed
Got head from a girl in special ed

Like George Costanza, Kanye fantasizes about the union of food and sex (George added TV). Here he enjoys alligator soufflé while a girl in special education (as Kanye says, “You know the one with the dumb ass, and she in the dumb class”) esses his dee. “Alligator soufflé” is a reference to the last line in Special Ed’s “I got it made”:

If what you got is greater I’ll trade
But maybe later cause my waiter made potato and alligator soufflé

9. Jay-Z on “Hello Brooklyn 2.0”

What up to the boy B.I
You know I handle B.I.

The first B.I. refers to Biggie, and the second to business. As is his wont, Jay-Z finds a technically interesting way to communicate the proposition “I am successful.”

8. Fabolous on “Salute”

I’m a rappin Ray Charles
I think I need a seeing eye dog
When it comes to being fly, dog
You ain’t seeing I, dog

With a simple substitution of an incorrect object pronoun for a correct one (“I” for “me”), Fabolous and his signature multisyllabic rhyme style (see the first verse of “Not Give a Fuck” for the canonical example) earn a place in the pantheon of great #8s on blog top ten lists (cf. Ben Stiller’s role as Steve Arlo in Zero Effect, the 8th best role of his career).

7. Jay-Z on “PSA II”

Puffing on a Cuban
I just put Cube in

Jay-Z relaxes by smoking a cigar and listening to an Ice Cube MP3/CD. Concise, evocative homophone, very nice. #golfclapforjayz

6. Cam'ron on “Rockin and Rollin”

But I love when hoes call me “The Cat’s Meow"
Cause I run up in them and I make their cats meow

He’s saying he loves when women praise him (“cat’s meow” is a phrase meaning something outstanding) for his sexual ability (he makes their pussies meow with pleasure)

More importantly though, isn’t “Cat’s Meow” something people said in the 20’s? Yes (so is “Cat’s Pajamas”). If you learn only one thing from reading Rap Genius, let it be this: Cam'ron contains multitudes.

5. Lil Wayne on “Ignorant Shit”

I ain’t recording, I’m just C-4'in, my currency foreign

As an artist, Lil Wayne is so different, such a Martian/goon, that it’d be more apt to describe his recording as C-4'in (exploding…C-4 is an explosive) than recording. And he’s spending foreign money (standard rap brag). Note the clever use of a partial word to fit the homophone — this kid’s going to grow up to be a very successful rapper one day.

4. Cam'ron on “Boy Boy”

Cat like you? Call you a gladiator
Give her oral and you happy: glad he ate her

Something tells me that in private, Cam demands that certain of his cleaner girls sit on his face and wiggle around. Lots of rappers eat pussy, and I suspect Cam is one of them, despite (/because of) his public disavowals.

I’m not a businessman
I’m a business, man

But Jay, a business is technically a businessman, legally speaking (corporations as persons is a huge legal meme). Also, this line was originally “I’m not an insurance salesman, I’m an insurance company, man”.

2. Notorious B.I.G. on “What’s Beef”

Beef is when I see you, guaranteed to be in I.C.U.

HOW HARD!? (I.C.U. = intensive care unit)

1. Cam'ron on “Family Ties”

From whippin' the bacon rolls to outside whippin' the bacon Rolls

Cam'ron has come a long way: from eating bacon rolls (cheap calories) to riding in a Rolls Royce of the same color. See some alternate explanations of this, the greatest homophone rhyme of all time.

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BONUS CONTENT!

Honorable mentions

Jay-Z on “Can’t Knock the Hustle”

We get together like a choir
To acquire what we desire

Cam'ron on “Family Ties”

From the back of the cop-ride
To black-on-black, black when we cop rides

(Don’t get what this means? See our explanation)

No-homos (not quite homophones)

Cam'ron on “Harlem Streets”

Nah, I ain’t gonna be embedded in jail
Talking to a cellmate in a bed in a jail, dog

Cam'ron on “Killa Cam”

You a rooster nigga
This a roaster, bitch
And I roast ya bitch

(Explanation)

Kanye West on “Maybach Music Part 2”

If B.I. was alive, he’d of probably had a two-tone
With the Grey Poupon
Anything ‘Ye poop on
Will explode*…

(*Reversible…i.e. anything ‘Ye explodes on will also poop)