The Christian religions – especially Catholicism, which is how I was brought up – are so hateful, I would have still loved those religions for being as ugly and despicable as they are in their teachings. Obviously, that’s hyperbole, but I think it gets my point across – that I hate Christianity.

The “Hell they’d given me” was a mental one – one of inner turmoil, confusion and loathing. At a young age, I would have been much better off embracing Atheism.

Maybe a month or so after I found out my dad had cancer, I would go to the church right after school everyday and pray for my dad. Out loud, unfortunately. The church was right next to my school, so it was convenient, but I’d also walk down on the weekends. (It was only a four minute walk from my house.)

When my dad died, months later, I kept going, and prayed for my dad’s passage to heaven. Again, out loud, which continued to attract the attention of passer-bys and spectators, whose gossip made it all the way to the media. My story was featured in the local news paper with my picture, along with my consent, which attracted the attention of Goddamn CTV – a Canadian Broadcasting Network – who sent one of their journalists to interview and film me faux praying. (He filmed me holding my hands out and being completely silent. It felt really dishonest.)

In the years following that, I prayed over really stupid shit. Like, “I didn’t study for this test I’m about to take, so please God, help me pass this test I’m not prepared for even though I don’t deserve to, because it will make my life easier.” Yeah, I was pretty fucking retarded, dude.

During Christian baptism, a person is either immersed in a body of water or has water sprinkled over their foreheads, symbolizing the person’s purification and admission into the church.

I always kind of just assumed I was immersed in water, rather than just having it sprinkled over me, but I guess the latter makes more sense.

http://www.brutallyhonest.org/.a/6a00d834516bb169e2019b04b71452970d-pi

The red covers were stage curtains, if I remember correctly. I don’t remember if this was supposed to mean the major players in Christian religions were just actors going through the motions, or if it just meant the beliefs are fake and entertainment. Sorry, the specifics of this line are lost on me.

Pretty much my entire life until I was 17, I had fantasies of going to heaven, asking God questions and discovering why he lead us on during our time on Earth, and why he believes or supports the things he does. I also dreamed of being able to live out my fantasies and see my father again.

This was even happening when I identified as agnostic and thought it was unlikely God exists.

The design is the Christian system. I thought the fact that churches were shutting down, that less and less people were showing up, and that artists like Marilyn Manson would say shit like, “Hopefully, I’ll be remembered as the person who brought an end to Christianity,” was… well, unfortunate. Livid might be an overstatement, but I certainly wasn’t impressed.

While priests try to raise their religions popularity, less and less people are attending mass. Religion’s dying out.

To build churches, we waste trees and labour. We waste water, pumping it through fonts. We waste our time attending. We’ve wasted countless lives with monstrosities like the Spanish Inquisition. The Jewish religion even wasted Jesus. Dude was probably one Hell of a carpenter, but decades worth of his labour had been lost with his crucifixion.