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The official fight manual for the first manned mission to the moon, Apollo 11!

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Based loosely on a true story! If you replace Tori the lost lover with Tori the lost roommate and the town with a Berklee dorm.

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Note: this predates Swift’s song by the same name, “22,” by three years. No conspiracy theories!

22 puts Mayer back in 1998, after he had just dropped out of Berklee College of Music and moved to Atlanta to begin a career. The issues with the move are immortalized in “Why Georgia.”

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If love is the goal, and Mayer can never actually breech that line, he is constantly startled and dragged to something that will never be his. The dream is only a fiction. John may be one of the worst heartbreakers, but even he does not deserve an endless loop of disappointment.

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Mayer’s “energy” is well documented: he has had flings with Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Minka Kelly, Jennifer Aniston, Taylor Swift, and Katy Perry. It comes as no surprise that not a single one of these has ended well or worked out.

Mayer finds himself running into an invisible wall, constantly seeking something that he cannot touch. Whether emotional or physical, this wall has him moving infinitely in a perfect figure eight, which also happens to be the symbol for infinity. He simply cannot pass the edge.

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A not-too-subtle shout to the same level of imaginary friends that populated Kurt Cobain’s head in Nirvana’s “Lithium

“I’m so happy
‘Cause today I found my friends
They’re in my head”

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The day John Mayer hits his maturity point will be heralded as a second coming. With his many relationship issues, personal struggles, and bad habits, Mayer has been the posterboy for rebel…singer songwriters. 2013’s Paradise Valley seems to finally hint that the late 90s lost boy has finally become a man. With a blanket.

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John’s maturity has finally reached a point where he does not actively attempt to ruin others' relationships. Huzzah. Even still, if he were to find Olivia knocking at his door, he is not strong enough to send her home.

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The man. The legend. The movie character. You know him as Michael Jordan. We know him as #23.

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The John R. Wooden Award is given to the superior college player of the year, a particularly tough title to grab, given Jordan’s world class competitors. Still, the legend’s dominant junior year season, his last before the NBA, was enough to win both the Wooden and Naismith awards.

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