Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.
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The 90’s was known for it’s highly corny fashion statements, unlike the 21st century when dudes think it’s cool to wear dresses, a lot of people back in the day made it their mission to dress like a clown.
If a woman tells you she's 20 and looks 16, she's 12. If she tells you she's 26 and looks 26, she's damn near 40
Chris Rock (Ft. Gerald Levert) – No Sex (in the Champagne Room)
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Woman lie about their age like how dudes lie about their schlong sizes. Best thing to do when meeting a new potential sexual partners is to bring a ruler and ask for ID!
Sure, it feels safe inside. But what about all those niggas waitin outside with guns? They know you ain't got one
Chris Rock (Ft. Gerald Levert) – No Sex (in the Champagne Room)
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Yep, consider yourself royally screwed in this unfortunate situation. If there is a next time, hopefully you don’t go to hood parties without your strap.
Don't go to parties with metal detectors.
Chris Rock (Ft. Gerald Levert) – No Sex (in the Champagne Room)
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This is a big no-no, if they have to screen for dangerous people in the first place…you probably shouldn’t be there.
The Terror Squad Walks Around The Metal Detector according to Remy Ma.
Oh, there's CHAMPAGNE in the Champagne Room. But you don't want champagne.. you want sex. And there's no sex in the Champagne Room
Chris Rock (Ft. Gerald Levert) – No Sex (in the Champagne Room)
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PLENTY OF CHAMPAGNE, BUT YOU DON’T WANT THAT?
there's no sex in the champagne room. NONE!
Chris Rock (Ft. Gerald Levert) – No Sex (in the Champagne Room)
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They might tell you that you can have sex,but if you get caught with your pants down, and your manhood however many inches deep in a stripper you’re committing a felony count of soliciting a prostitute. JUST DON’T DO IT!
No matter what a stripper tells you,
Chris Rock (Ft. Gerald Levert) – No Sex (in the Champagne Room)
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Strippers will lie just to make more money, so it’s in your best interest to not believe them. Look with your eyes, not with your hands. (I know from personal experience!)
Ladies and gentlemen of the G.E.D. class of 1999, I have one piece of advice for you
Chris Rock (Ft. Gerald Levert) – No Sex (in the Champagne Room)
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In a fashion that mimics the traditional valedictorian speech of a high school graduation…Chris Rock gives some advice to G.E.D. class of 1999 that they can use going into the new millenium.
Baz Luhrmann’s ‘Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen) was based on the column in the Chicago Tribune by Mary Schmich, which became viral in 1997 and was later adapted into the song. (
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9 years
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You gotta make sure you’re using the right technique, because if you’re not then you’re probably like, not f4cking?
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When you come up on some bizarre facts about sex, how do you combat your skepticism until you try it out for yourself.
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