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One doesn’t need a fork for pastries, and the upper crust tend not to use one. Also, pastries? Is this a tea-shop in Pimlico?

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Nobs wouldn’t “take” tea, but “have” it.

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“Cook” is deliberately haughty; the real upper-class preference would be for e.g. “Mrs. Noakes.”

“Unnerved” is a euphemism designed to uphold bourgeois propriety

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The upper classes preferred the more formal “telephone.”

For some reason, the Victorians associated the use of fish knives with arrivistes – maybe because Old Money ate their fish with just forks?

The name “Norman” is a crude attempt at emulating the older English noble families, who are generally of Norman origin (“came over with the conqueror”)

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The English gentry (rather rudely) have a strong aversion to begging people’s pardons.

If they said anything, it’d be the more direct “sorry.”

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In a truly aristocratic household with multiple servants, “the girl” is too vague a description to be meaningful; they’d (more kindly) refer to her by name. The social aspirants of the poem have only one girl in their employ, and refer to her with a hint of disdain (because she’s not actually that far from them on the social ladder, they feel a need to distance themselves).

“Cruets” is another pretentious Gallicism that the blue-blooded avoid (using “salt,” “pepper,” etc.); “replenished” is just pompous.

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The upper crust would have drawing-rooms rather than the rather modern “lounges” of the middle class.

They have rooms analogous to vestibules, but avoid that rather pretentious name. “Comfy” is also far too twee a word.

“Ever so close” should be “awfully stuffy” or something of the sort.

“Dear” is only used by the toffs when they want to tick each other off.

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I.E. the bathroom; definitely not a genteel usage. “Requisites” is a polysyllabic euphemism (probably means toilet paper) which thus combines two things the bourgeois love.

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The use of “serviette” over “napkin” shows a penchant for the fancy and Frenchified which is part of the middle-class quest for daintiness. “Kiddies” is a noticeably plebeian term, suggestive of a lower background…

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The gentry would never specify that they were horseback riding; the word “riding” alone would convey all that was sufficient. An example of the middle-class preference for complexity where the upper wants simplicity.

“Howard” is named after the ineffably grand Dukes of Norfolk

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