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What is this?
The Genius annotation is the work of the Genius Editorial project. Our editors and contributors collaborate to create the most interesting and informative explanation of any line of text. It’s also a work in progress, so leave a suggestion if this or any annotation is missing something.
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This is where things reach Homestuck’s usual level of complication, but it will be dissected as simply as possible:
These two trolls are actually spiritual relatives from different universes, one of which (Kankri’s) existed before the other (it’s unclear which of the two actually qualifies as a descendant of the other, because both were actually sired by the other in their respective timelines, leading the trolls to use the portmanteau “dancestor” [descendant/ancestor] to describe their alternate-universe counterparts)
The home planet of the trolls in the 2nd iteration universe (Karkat’s universe) was called “Alternia,” and it’s culture was not dissimilar to, say, early 1940’s Germany: The entire adult population of the troll race was actually forbidden from returning to their home planet and sent upon adulthood to conquer other planets for a galaxy-spanning troll empire. Furthermore, since the troll species divides itself up by blood color, higher castes were given free reign to “cull” (kill) lower blood colors for pretty much any reason they pleased.
By contrast, Kankri’s version of Alternia was called “Beforus” (if that sounds stupid to you, the short version is that a literally omnipotent being was fucking with the entirety of the troll race across the lifespan of more than one universe) and was idyllic even in comparison with modern Earth culture. Lowbloods and trolls with disabilities in Beforan culture were not killed, but given to a member of a higher blood caste to be looked after (arguably coddled, in some circumstances).
This is where we begin to see Kankri Vantas as the parody character he ultimately is: Kankri was created to mock “social justice bloggers” on Tumblr, a group considered by their detractors to misuse a moral high ground to bully other internet users and makes mountains out of molehills while doing little to tangibly improve the lives of whoever they claim to be fighting for.
#Tl;dr:
Kankri saying all this shit to Karkat should read to women in the audience as the equivalent of a dude saying to you when you were in middle school “Sure, periods and childbirth suck…but have you ever been kicked in the balls?” (boys: don’t do this)
Pictured: Beforus or Alternia, depending on when you look at it
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Kankri and Karkat Vantas are both members of an alien species that call themselves trolls and were initially created (by Andrew Hussie, author of Homestuck) to parody online communities and subcultures. Thus, all trolls have “typing quirks” that indicate something about their personality and/or pattern of speech (one who lisps writes the letter s as a 2, one who’s basically a furry puts a cat face emoji before everything she says and makes lots of cat puns, you get the idea) Kankri Vantas' quirk, pictured here, is the replacement of the letter “O” with a 9 and “B” with a 6. The reasoning behind this quirk is twofold: It provides a humorous contrast to Kankri’s chaste character (he mentions having taken an oath of celibacy and may feel no sex drive whatsoever-“69” is, of course, a sex position) and it mirrors the Zodiac sign for Cancer, which looks rather like a sideways 69. (each of the trolls that appears in Homestuck is tied to a Western astrological sign, Kankri and Karkat Vantas taking the places of Cancer)
Kankri’s typing quirk has been replicated in the first paragraph-long sentence, but removed elsewhere for legibility. (Note: Although Karkat’s quirk is usually TYPING IN ALL CAPS LIKE SO, for the duration of this rant he is unable to get a word in edgewise, so his quirk does not appear)
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During Gucci Mane’s descent into lean-induced tweeting madness, parody accounts had a field day with fake tweets like this
Thought you thought, uh huh! Mac Mall – Return Of The Mac
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DJ Fresh and his production team The Whole Shabang have produced a series of Tonite Show albums showcasing various Bay Area artists, beginning in 2005 with Mistah FAB. Since then, artists on the Tonite Show series have included D-Lo, San Quinn, T-Nutty, and The Jacka, among others. Return Of The Mac is Mac Mall’s Tonite Show installment.
“Thought you thought”= particularly Bay Area way of saying “Thought you knew,” or, if you need it in the whitest terms possible…
“Not quite what you were expecting, was it?”
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A cease-and-desist (see example below) is a legal order to halt an activity and not take it up again later or face legal consequences.
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Lusus naturae (Latin for “freaks of nature”) are giant, all-white animals with many eyes and other deformities that serve as caretakers/foils/almost parents to adolescent trolls (pictured: Karkat’s lusus which he affectionately referred to as “Crabdad.” A similar creature likely raised Kankri since lusii are determined by a troll’s blood color)
The closest Earthly equivalent to this crime/trigger/social justice issue would be a combination of animal abuse and a very screwed-up domestic situation where a child was abusing their parent
kankri had no lusus as he was an outcast and mutant. karkat got one due to the sufferer’s followers providing him with said creature.