This blurs uncomfortably from an invitation to Isabel to help out with the embroidery work into an admiration of her beauty, and it sounds almost like a Petrarchan blazon: “Give us your hand! Oh and also your face! You can keep the rest of your body, though, for now”

The nuns may be sick at embroidery, but even they admit that the best way to emulate the Virgin Mary and the other saints is to try to act like them – weaving Mary’s virtues into their lives rather than weaving thread into linen

“One fun activity we do here is embroider the Virgin Mary’s face on throw pillows”

“I know you think it sucks to be a nun, but everyone here is literally* Jesus Christ’s wife, and he buys us really nice things”

*in heaven; according to this logic, heaven is where it’s really at, while the earth is a mere shadow of that true reality

The nun is always correcting herself and qualifying her statements; all of her messages are mixed

When you’re the mouthpiece for an institution known for draconian rules and sexless monotony, you probably have to make the case for its appeal very carefully

The most exclusive spas are using holy-water based skin treatments now

Or not so innocently

Unlike most of society, nuns didn’t really have to do anything; they were heavily subsidized by the Catholic Church

There follows a long speech by one of the nuns to Isabel. The nun plays it off like idle chatter, but she’s actually launching an intense campaign to make Isabel one of them.