This is a reference to the basketball player “Chris Paul” who plays for the Los Angeles Clippers. He is saying that he wants to reach his level one day.
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He got to a point where he couldn’t find himself and didn’t know what to do to survive, so he considered being a drug dealer but brought himself back to his senses before he did.
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Even from a young age, he was doing everything on his own and trying to get by, but he was still scared of the consequences when he did something wrong.
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