OT: Your Stories of Awkward and untimely BONERS

Contributing with my own, then will post others from other people.

33 years old, at my first real party (girls, alcohol, etc)
-just as I arrive, a drunk girl decides to sit on me
-she’s not very hot, but has nice tits
-stare down her top whilst she wriggles around on me
-pop a boner
-she obviously feels it, doesn’t realise what it is
-starts shuffling around trying to get comfortable again
-about to jizz in my pants
-she suddenly catches on
-stands up just as the song playing goes off
-shouts “OH MY GOD IS THAT YOUR DICK!?"
-I stare at her, everyone at the party stares at me
-I begin to ejaculate in my pants in front of everyone
-run out the door and walk home
-don’t go to another party.

February 5th, 2013

February 5th, 2013
BennySwans's photo

20,764

Dilla on his game today tho forreal

February 5th, 2013
B23Rich's photo

23,792

My mom walked in on me stroking… don’t think it get’s much worse then that.

February 5th, 2013
sexy-mofo's photo

4,898

Don’t believe you. It’s impossible for anyone to be that lame.

February 5th, 2013

The girl I sit next to in History class has the nicest ass I’ve ever seen, and she constantly wears skin tights, short shorts, Leggings and many other revealing items of clothing. One day, she wore tights and she obviously didn’t have panties on. I popped a boner and then my teacher asks me to stand up in front of the class and present a paper to everyone. FML

February 5th, 2013
sexy-mofo's photo

4,898

@B23Rich, damn that’s terrible,what did you do?

February 5th, 2013
B23Rich's photo

23,792

Man, I was so embarrased… she walked in, clearly seen me storking, said she just “sorry”, then left my room… Man I got up, just started walking around in circles cause I was embarrased, did that for like 10 minutes, and then I stayed in my room for like 2 hours, then I finally went and seen her, but she didn’t care. She was cool about it. I was only embarrased for like the day, next day I woke up I was feeling fine… but when she walked in, damn….

February 5th, 2013
B23Rich's photo

23,792

and that was about 2 years ago.

February 5th, 2013

-be at party, sloppy drunk
-sexy man walks thorough the door, looks to be about 32-33ish
-he sits down, and I sit down on him and start wiggling
-he is sweating profusely
-keeps staring at my tits
-feel a lump in his cargo shorts
-wiggle away
-as i stand up the music cuts
-yell “OH MY GOD, WHAT A HUGE DICK"
-he looks me in the eyes
-nuts were busted

-he runs out of the door
-I’ve never seen him again, I really wish I could talk to him again.
-That was 2 years ago
-Go to every party ever thrown trying to find him
-never do

February 5th, 2013
sexy-mofo's photo

4,898

@Jenkins you such a fucknigga

February 5th, 2013

BONER PRO TIP:

Hold your breath for about 15 seconds, and you’ll feel your power pole start to shrink

I MUST GO NOW

February 5th, 2013

@sexy-mofo
Awwwww shucks

February 5th, 2013
sexy-mofo's photo

4,898

JENKINS!! IT’S NOT WORKING!!

February 5th, 2013

YOU’RE TO SEXY OF A MOFO FOR ME TO HANDLE!

February 5th, 2013