I have a crush on her. I could ask her out, and move on with my life if she says no. Or, we could just be friends. I don’t want to consider that she may not be attracted in me. I’m scared of rejection, so I’ve decided relationships should grow smoothly out of friendships. When she has problems, I’ll be there for her, night after night. Selflessly. I’ll tear down the jerks she dates, and wait for her to realize how good I am for her, and that only I will ever understand her.
She won’t want to hurt my feelings, and I won’t ever force the issue. I’ll convince myself that it’s because I ‘value or friendship,’ but in reality, the reason is much deeper.
Bit by bit, I’ll make her depend on me. She’ll think about how long it would take to build this kind of connection again. In a moment of weakness and loneliness, she’ll give in.
It’ll feel very comfortable and natural. She’ll subconsciously and quietly rationalize our connection, and change her definition of love. She’ll try to be happy. Sometimes she will be.
Only the wistfulness in her gaze and the tiny pause before she says “I love you” will hint that this wasn’t the ending she’d hoped for.
