[Verse 1]
My name is Johnny Polygon
I’m 22 and overweight
I refuse to sell my music rights
Cause I now they are great
I know I make a fortune of it
So just get off it
You can never force the profit
Cause I worth more than the profit
So stop forcing the topic
Let’s talk about something real
What you think? I’m a fucking idiot?
You don’t acknowledge my bill?
I now someday I’ll probably go platinum
But also means I’ll have to water down my rappin some
You see when all these suits look at me
All they see is a Black Eye Pea
They think black guys need to wear baseball caps
And rap like G's
These so called gangsters
Are really just studio gangsters
Need to thank Jewish dude who made them
Packaged them and paid them
Now you want a major
And I’m still independent
You roll on 22's
With a bunch of dudes and naked bitches
You claim it is the life
Really, is it, fellas?
Please tell us
Fuck it I know it is
I’m just hating because I’m jealous
If I could, I would. I wish someone would
Rent a Benz in their name and take it back
Once my record went wood
Reposess that chance
Send my black ass back to the hood
Where all I have to brag about
Is how I met Tiger Woods
Or how I met Ving Rhames
Or Cuba Gooding Junior
Other black dude that kissed a white man’s ass
And niggers started to blowing them
Thought that shit was bitch made
Stabbed them in the rib cage
Thank God Johnny sold that way back in the sixth grade

[Hook]
I think everyone is a racist
And we all deserve a cookie
For showing so much patience
I think everyone is a bigot
Against someone
Fat people
Black people
White people
And midgets
Let’s pretend that we’re the best of friends
Cause I can barely tell the difference
Between Guatemala and Mexicans
Thanks a lot for asking me
God bless America
You got the right to laugh at me

[Verse 2]
I’m completely irresponsible
An economical crippled
At my age this shit
Should all be so simple
But I really have a problem saving money
The motherfucking girls and drug dealers always take it from me
If it don't make dollars, it don’t make sense fuck it
Back in Oklahoma
People treat me like a prince
Started rapping in high school
People said that I talked white
And I dressed weird
Started to learn to battle
Couldn’t wait until the next year
Started battling niggas outside by the monkey bars
Especially them gangsta niggas who tried to punk me hard
They were just staring look at me hard
Tell them "under his Fubu, he's wearing a leotard"
Make some shit up and call them a retard
It’s not even a word but I said that shit on purpose
Cause some niggers will really talk about
Some shit they’ve heard it
Shut the fuck up nigga
You're making us all look dumb
There are so many stereotypes
And I think we all fit one

[Hook]

I used to kick it with white people
For a while that was wonderful
They always dropped the N-bomb
As soon they got comfortable
It’s like they always wanted to
Say some racist shit in front of you
Damn! I wonder why I’ve always let them
Maybe it’s impossible for someone to offend me
If I don’t respect them
Yeah they pissed me off a bit
But not enough to fuss a fit
Cause I always can convince white girls
To come and suck my dick
Their dads would have a fit
If they ever find out
There will be no fucking Negroes in this house
And she said "Fine, Dad, I’m out"
I’m moving out to Inglewood
Six months later fucked every nigga in the hood
Cause shorty was a jump off
You know what a jump off is?
That’s when you fuck her, bust a nut then jump off that shit
Not even trying to say
That every white girl is a slut
But I bet you 20 bucks
Most of them like it up their butt
What? Sex with white girls
And black chicks, there’s a difference
White girls will do some kinky shit
And let you call them bitches not sisters
Only convinced one of them to give me a blow job
She wouldn’t let me finish
She found out that I don’t even have a job
Damn! Somehow I still got her pregnant
Now me and her mama both have really bad credit
I knew she was a ho
But for some reason I’ve still boned her though
Ten months later she took me off on the Maury Povich show

[Hook]