[Intro: Sample]
Alright, cock meat sandwich time

[Viva]
Feminists

Shout out to Zoe Klementovski

[Verse 1: Viva]
Let's get it straight
(Me?) I'm the cure for cancer
My professors want to suck my dick
Because I'm so handsome
I'm the answer
Independent flow
But I roll so tandem
With Alec on the go
Starting pande-monium

Rich girls are like
"I can't stand them"
Still we boning them
Dick size you can't fathom
Imagine: (What?) thirty pound cock
First date, moist pubs
Yeah bitches be throwing tantrums

Creeping in your house
While you're sleeping like Santa
Drunk off the vodka
Jim Bean, and Fanta
Walking around campus
Skull candy to the
Hipster hypocritical
Bullshit that is Hampshire
With Carl in the car, cold tea and Planters
Pesto bud smoking trees like it's Jan term

Raps backfire
Faster than my satire
Eat your baby's face
On a plate:
I'm a vampire
I get a fucking blumpkin
In a quagmire
Then woo her in
With a flat tire
Take her back behind the car
And express interest in meeting her family
Then c****le that bitch from Amelie

Yeah, it's the following
I don't give a fuck, I snort Dramamine
French kiss while I'm fucking vomiting
Anal sex with all the Oscar nominees
My life's awesome, all I eat is pussy and collard greens, and
All I do is rap and read about astronomy
My dick's not big
Actually I need smaller jeans
I wish I was taller but fuck it
Your girl's calling me
Dead a hipster every day
Yeah, what the problem is

[Bridge: Sample]
I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti

[Verse: Alec]
Hit the 40oz hard
Then I hit the floor hard
Passed out and fucked hard
Like I just got my report card
Woke up drunk, wet
Blunt to the face
Laced with ket
Now I'm catching hep-c
From the butt sex
Great, all my rubbers out of date
Fuck, what's next
Everybody at Hampshire is going to hate me
(Uhhh) Fuck yes
Hip-hop is dead on this campus
And I'm the suspect
101 on how to be a douche-bag: dubstep
Only time I hear the womp-womp is on my nutsack
What's that?
Satirical rap?
I fucking love that!
Filling up your can of pissed off
We've got it on tap

[gunshot]

Ok, bong rip
Long nap
Come back
Hit the notepad
Misogynist rap
Ya, been there and wrote that
Now I'm broke
50k in loans cause I'm middle class
And Hampshire's so fucking endowed
Where the alums at?

Want to know a fun fact?
I might transfer to UMass tomorrow
Bags only half unpacked
Aw, it's sad...
Bitch it isn't, don't lie to me
I'm so hated it might be hipster
Just to say goodbye to me
Hit them with the lobotomy
There's got to be a way
To get them to look more [bleep]
Than our boyfriends try to be
Hit them with the honesty
I'm sick of cigarette
Smoking hipsters
Supporting the big business economy

Shh...you hear that, I think they're on to me...(Who?)
Feminists, hipsters
Republicans, zombies
Barricade the doors
Start the fire off the pot leaf
Turn the Tyler on
There ain't a fucking thing stopping me

I'm an asshole here because at home I wasn't allowed to be
I was raised well
By Mormons
They're fucking proud of me
Until they found out
That I'm into rock 'n roll
And probably
Have dreams about
Turning the pope into clam chowder
Chop chop, cut him up fine like it's powder
And then I hide like Dave Chappelle
Yelling white power
I'm bare chested
With a belt of ammunition neck
Cause on my red hair
There is a fucking pink flower
All the buzz made the girls
Want me even harder
Stepping back, tell them bitches
"I am your father"
I've got it locked
Keys up in my ass, don't bother
But please look after your teenage daughter. (Why's that?)
Because she either wants to kill me or molest me
And either way I kiss her on the cheek and tell her she's the best

[Outro: Sample]
You boys ready for your cock meat sandwich?