The Lonely Island – Natalie's Rap Lyrics
We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman
So Natalie, tell us what a day in the life of Natalie Portman is like?
Do you really want to know?
Please, tell us
[Verse 1 - Natalie]
I don't sleep motherfucker off that 'gnac and the durban
Doin 120 gettin head while I'm swervin'
(Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick)
Yo, shut the fuck up and suck my dick!
I bust in dudes' mouths like Gushers motherfucker
Pull up to NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker
What you want Natalie? (To drink and fight!)
What you need Natalie? (To fuck all night!)
Don't test me when I'm crazy off that airplane group
Put my foot down your throat til your shit's in my shoe
Leave you screamin', pay for my dry-cleanin'
Fuck your man, it's my name that he's screamin'!
I'm sorry Natalie, are we to believe that you condone driving while intoxicated?
I never said that I was a role model
But, what about the kids that look up to you? Do you have a message for them?
[Verse 2 - Natalie]
All the kids lookin up to me can suck my dick
It's Portman motherfucker, drink til I'm sick
Slit your throat and pour nitrous down the hole
Watch you laugh and cry; while I laugh, you die
And to all the dudes, you know I'm talkin' to you
(We love you Natalie!) I wanna fuck you too!
(P!) Is for Portman! (P!) It's for pussy!
I'll kill your fuckin' dog for fun, so don't push me!
Well Natalie, I'm surprised, all this coming from a Harvard graduate?
Well, there's a lot you may not know about me
Really, such as?
[Verse 3 - Natalie]
When I was in Harvard I smoked weed everyday
I cheated every test and snorted all the yay
I gotta def posse, you gotta a bunch of dudes
I'll sit right down on your face and take a shit!
[Verse 4 - The Lonely Island (Andy Samberg)]
Natalie, you are a bad ass bitch (Hell yeah!)
And I'll always pay for your dry-cleanin when my shit gets in your shoe (What!)
And as for the drug use, well I can't vouch for that
My dick is scared of you, guuurlll
Natalie, one final question: if you could steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood who would it-
No more questions
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